Wed 16 Nov, 2016 07:18 am
Hi everyone,
1st thread here.
Let me introduce myself, i am a 26 year old male, doctor by profession in a hospital, married. I love my wife but i am also attracted to a female nurse from our hospital, she works in different department.
I dont want to leave my wife but i also want friendship with that female nurse, she probably single (certainly not married) very beautiful and i like her.
i want to date her, want to travel with her and may be sex but i am not thinking of sex right now, just friendship, coz i like her as i said.
when she meets me face to face (which unfortunately happens very less as our work time differs and we hardly see each other) still when we meet face to face she talks well, in fact i was not looking at her at the beginning but she first came to me talked to me. then i got interest in her,
I added her in my facebook recently and messaged her there. she replied first time after few days. that too 1 word reply as i asked her something about the doctor in her department.
i thought my profile pic is probably not clear so she might not recognized me. so i uploaded a new profile pic in facebook and along with my other friends she also liked my pic, let me tell you i am handsome and good looking and i am not bragging myself but everyone says my friends family and even online friends. i know she also thinks i am good looking.
now the point...is...
when ever we see each other we do talk casually and she keeps smiling while talking to me and so do i, but really dont care to reply my facebook messages, either she doesnt look them or sometimes dont reply even after seeing them.
few days back we talked bit in fb, most of the time i asked and she replied, then said "gn" as if she wants to end the conversation..
i also said gn and didnt reply. next morning i sent gm for first time, she saw it 6 7 hours later as she came online that late and still didnt reply..
yet i messaged her that how was her day, its my night duty tonight with a sad smiley and she replied just with laughing/crying smiley.. thats it...
please friends help me, what should i do further or how should i take her response as? is she interested in me or if i can do something so that she may become my friend ? i am from a conservative country and girls are here not very open to guys, may be my married life is repelling her as she just want to be with a single guy ? but i just want a friendship with her at the beginning and i dont want to flirt with her as i think it may also repel her.
please help me
ps- please mind it that i want extra marital affair/friendship and dont want to divorce my wife.
@gladiator26,
I think you are a disgusting pig for wanting to cheat on your wife for no other reason other than you have the hots for a good looking nurse. Based on how you say she is responding to you, she seems to have enough sense to stay at arms length from a married guy. Hopefully, for her sake, she will continue to minimize her contact with you outside of work.
Was that too strongly worded? Ah, who am I kidding, I really don't care if it was.
@CoastalRat,
Now what can be expected from 50 year old clown. I already know what is right and wrong. I don't need your judgment how I am and how I should behave. I just want to know how can I befriend with her. Of you are frustrated with loss of your libido then go away. Keep ur suggestion for those who ask you about loyalty and honesty.. I am not hear for that. If someone want me to give suggestion how can I improve my friendship wit her then you are welcome.. Again I don't need lecture on honesty
@gladiator26,
You don't want to be friends with her. You just want to screw her. Scream about honesty all you like (hey, I don't give a damn), but at least tell yourself the truth.
@jespah,
I m not going to rape her. If she wants sex then why not
@gladiator26,
Quote:Now what can be expected from 50 year old clown.
You would be surprised.
Quote: I don't need your judgment how I am
I agree that you don't need it, but you invited it and anyone else's by coming on here and wanting advice on how to cheat on your wife.
Quote: I just want to know how can I befriend with her
No, you want to know how to get in her pants.
Quote: I don't need your judgment how I am
I am not judging you. I am just stating how I perceive you based on your desire to screw someone other than your wife.
Quote: Again I don't need lecture on honesty
I think you do need a lecture on honesty. It is how relationships work, whether the two people are married or simply living together. Relationships do not work without honesty. Without a level of trust and honesty between the partners, a relationship is doomed. So, why don't you sit down with your wife, tell her of your plans to befriend this nurse and travel with her, and possibly screw her and see if your wife thinks this is a great idea. Maybe there is some guy she has been dying to screw also and the two of you can come to a nice arrangement where you both are happy. After all, that seems fair that she would also have a chance to play around. Or is it only good for you to screw others while she has to remain faithful to a pig like you?
EDIT: Based on your response on another thread, you constantly think about an ex who evidently rejected you and now you are pursuing a nurse who you have the hots for. Your wife married a real winner.
@CoastalRat,
Again I will say I opened a thread to know what I want what ever it can be.. U r none to give me lecture.. Keep it for your children if u have.. U don't know me and how my married life is going so just mind ur own business. Did u read anywhere in my post I am asking for a lecture on honesty.. No. First read what is asked in a post. If u have nothing to do then go eat others brain not mine. I don't need ur lecture in my thread.
@gladiator26,
gladiator26 wrote: is she interested in me
no
based on what you've posted, she is not interested
I suspect that because you are a doctor and she is a nurse that she feels she can't be rude to you, so she can't tell you to back off. she has to make do with one word answers which are HUGE clues to you that she doesn't want to communicate with you.
Leave her alone. Leave her alone in person and online. The woman is not interested in you.
@gladiator26,
gladiator26 wrote: If someone want me to give suggestion how can I improve my friendship wit her then you are welcome.
Leave her alone.
She is not interested in you.
It seems that you are as clueless in person as you are online.
@gladiator26,
gladiator26 wrote: If she wants sex then why not
She is not interested in you.
Your initial post suggests she doesn't even like you - is just polite because she has to be.
@gladiator26,
gladiator26 wrote: I don't need ur lecture in my thread.
what you do seem to need is a lesson in how to read social clues
@gladiator26,
Quote: U r none to give me lecture
Now that is funny. You are the one who came here asking for advice. When you do so, you open yourself up for any and all comments/advice.
Quote: U r none to give me lecture
Why not? You apparently need one, so I figure I'm just as good at giving it to you as anyone else here.
I am probably very fortunate that I do not. But what does that have to do with anything? I know just as much about you as anyone else here, so I am as qualified as anyone else to state my opinion.
Quote: so just mind ur own business
First you come here wanting advice and now, after getting advice, you want me to mind my own business? You need to make up your mind.
I notice you did not respond to my great suggestion about sitting down with your wife and discussing your desire with her and giving her a chance to screw some other guy other than you. I wonder why you ignored this? Maybe because allowing her to do what you wish to do would be unthinkable?
@CoastalRat,
So you keep giving suggestions to people what they don't want.. About anything? Don't you get what I asked for..? I DON'T NEED SUGGESTION ON HONESTY. I asked how can I befriend her for what ever.. But u seem to vomit your frustration like this.. Advising people what they don't ask.
@gladiator26,
gladiator26 wrote:I asked how can I befriend her for what ever
she is not interested
if you are interested in a woman to have an affair with - look away from where you work
you are being mean if you pursue her
@gladiator26,
Ignoring the fact that I have already given you advice which you continue to ignore (discuss with wife, get her permission, give her an ok to screw someone else,) I would suggest to try to stop complaining about what I have written and how it does not conform to what you want to hear and read and understand what ehBeth wrote about the nurse obviously not wanting a relationship with you, something I also wrote in my first reply to you.
Quote: Based on how you say she is responding to you, she seems to have enough sense to stay at arms length from a married guy.
(ehBeth is often a bit nicer at responding than I am. With me, it depends on how I perceive someone. She's just naturally better I think at being even keeled with her responses.)
Or is ehBeth also telling you what you do not want to hear? If so, maybe you just need to tell us what advice you want us to give you, thus making this much easier on us.
@CoastalRat,
There's another thread that will shed more light -
http://able2know.org/topic/353690-1#post-6305164
Coastalrat, I'm not as scolding about affairs as you, though I come down on your side of things as a smart mode in general. On top of the wish for adultery thing, he ignores the general wisdom that affairs with fellow workers are most most often dumb ideas. Even in Asia.
@ossobucotemp,
Yeah, Osso, I noticed that thread. I think I edited an earlier post to add a note about that.
And yeah, I am a bit less tolerant of the whole having an affair thing. I just think that if a marriage gets to the point of someone wanting to have an affair, then what is the point of being married. Separate/divorce and screw around all you want. Of course, if one's partner doesn't care if they screw around, then who am I to complain? Their marriage, not mine. But at least give your partner the opportunity to do what you want to do.
@CoastalRat,
In the US, most of us agree with you re what marriage is about, but not everyone even here. And separating first is reasonable, for sure, for those who consider having sex with others as cheating on vows. But, life isn't always standard issue as we are emotional beings. I never cheated on my husband but I can understand people doing that.
The wide world varies on this subject in different ways; europeans seem to me to be generally more tolerant, and Saudi folk at the other extreme, at least re what wives can do.
Adds, I agree with ehBeth re the nurse's behavior.
@ossobucotemp,
Agreed that different cultures have different views on what is ok re: marriage. And yeah, I can certainly understand how someone might have an affair. What I have absolutely no tolerance for is someone who seeks to have an affair while spewing the nonsense this guy does about how he loves his wife, wants to stay with her, etc, etc. I'm pretty sure wherever he is from that his wife would frown upon his affair.
Now once this guy started in on my comments (rather than simply ignoring them, which looking back he may wish he had ignored them) and started talking about how I should not post stuff on his thread, well, I just couldn't resist being a bit of an ass. Probably my one character flaw if you ask my wife.
@CoastalRat,
Yeah.
I didn't think you were the ass.
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