Love will never be perfect and ppl too
No one said either was. In terms of such - there is a very real difference between behaviour that is understandable, and behaviour that is acceptable. You may understand why a person treats you like crap, but you should never accept that behaviour / say that behaviour is acceptable. Give understanding, along with a message that it is unacceptable. And, in warning, if the behaviour keeps occuring, how the message is delivered modifies (you should look up conflict management, assertiveness, dealing with manipulative people etc to learn these skills / better understand how to deal with such)
People tend to leave stuff that needs more work and efford but that's bad
No, it's not bad (in blanket format). For example, apply what you said to a woman who's partner is domestically violent towards her -is it bad for her to leave? If the answer is 'it's not bad for her to leave'. There are many other scenario's where it's not considered 'bad' to leave...in those scenarios. And in that group of scenario's, I would include 'any person who constantly treats another person like crap'
There is always has to be commitment, work on both of sides ect
Quite true. That said, this value, if it's not stood up for
, can become a trap when only one party is doing the work; or when one person says 'I'll work on ###', but keeps repeating the behaviour over and over again.
I could do much better but my toxical family and mess in my life was making me feel bad in that time
Where-ever we have come from, we can move forward, and we can grow.
Personal Growth (rather than skills growth) only comes when an individual takes responsibility for (their actions, their attitudes, their feelings, their words, their beliefs, their values etc - ie. they take responsibility for)
who they are, and who they are becoming.
Once we take responsibility, we take back the power to become our own person, we say 'the chains that have held me in the past will not hold me in the future - I will become the person that I want to be'. This is a goal that can become reality. That goal though needs to be coupled with understanding - our brain wires itself to think in certain patterns, and we are essentially wanting to rewire our brain. It can be done, but it can at times, take a lot of persistence.
And again, it is who we are that we contribute to our relationships. It is who we are that attracts other people.