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Am I crazy? Girlfriend talking to other guys

 
 
Smin11
 
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 02:34 pm
So not too sure how to feel about this one. Girlfriend went out with some new friends the other day. Long story short, there was a guy on the party bus who introduced himself & started taking to my gf. Before it was all over he had asked her to dinner & asked repeatedly if she had a bf because he said he saw my gf smiling @ him, etc. My gf mentioned that she had a bf. After she got home, I saw a snapchat from him pop up, so i asked who he was & why he messaged her. She said her & friends did it to see each other's stories but said she never got his number. Next day day when she got back from work, I saw a weird number in her phone. I asked who it was & she said it was him & that she gave the number a weird name so that i wouldn't freak out if i saw it ( we had an experience in the past where an ex bf messaged her something inappropriate & I saw it. She said she didn't have his number originally & that he asked for it to text her some pictures from that day. Since then all she's been doing is apologizing & saying how much she loves me & wants nothing else with anyone but Im on the fence here...idk if I should believe her or just believe what is assumed by the whole situation. I messaged the guy & asked him to stop messaging her. He said that he was sorry & that my gf did mention me & he was didn't mean to cause any problems. It's nice to know brocode still lives but idk how to feel about my gf. She's very straightforward but sometimes I get a bit inscure & these situations don't help. Am I crazy?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,306 • Replies: 6
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ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 02:37 pm
@Smin11,
Smin11 wrote:
sometimes I get a bit inscure


you're going to have to learn to be more comfortable in your own skin and in your relationship

this is not your girlfriend's responsibility.

she has a right to have male and female friends and not be concerned about your reaction to them

it might be a good idea not to look at each other's messages - grown-ups in relationships don't need to do that

Smin11
 
  0  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 02:49 pm
@ehBeth,
I completely understand that I need to be more configurable & am not saying she shouldn't have friends. My problem is with her lying & changing his contact information to hide it from me. I don't go through her messages. I saw the notification because he messaged her when i was walking by her phone. We had a talk, that's when she said she didn't have his number. Next day she has his number stored as something else. That's my problem & that's why I question whether to trust her.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2016 02:57 pm
@Smin11,
Try to ignore all that stuff.

It will make things better for both of you.

You're reactive. She knows it, tries to prevent you from reacting. You react . It's a vicious circle.

If she gets used to you being less reactive/non-reactive, she won't find a need to try to hide things from you.

Ignore it.

__

Here's the thing. You guys are going to make it/not make it as a couple regardless of what happens with other people. Your relationship succeeds or fails because of the two of you and how you are together. Try to remember that.

Ignore the crap involving other people.
0 Replies
 
Iouman
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 22 Feb, 2017 01:54 pm
@Smin11,
I don't trust her either.
0 Replies
 
MDN16
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 8 Mar, 2017 02:04 pm
@Smin11,
This sounds a lot like what I'm going through myself right now. My BF went out one night and didn't come home until 8am. He said he went to the casino with some of his friends, but then the next couple of days he was messaging some girl on FB. I saw some of the conversation, but then the next day it had been erased.
My biggest problem is that he accuses me of cheating all the time and I am nothing but faithful, yet he still goes through my phone all the time, which I don't have a problem with because I've got nothing to hide. But for some reason he has a problem with me going though his phone!!
If she has been trying to hide this guys information, there is something wrong!! I wouldn't buy into it, you may have messaged this guy and he said he would stop, but that doesn't mean that hes going to stop. I'd keep an eye open, but the best thing to do is go with your gut instinct because its never wrong... Only you can answer your own questions. I don't think you are crazy and I wouldn't even listen to these other people questioning why you are going through her phone. A couple should be able to share every aspect of their lives with each other including personal things like who they talk to. Just don't be that guy that sneaks on her phone in the middle of the night while shes sleeping or in the shower. Be honest and open with her and ask her randomly to see it. If she hesitates or says no, that's a big red flag
0 Replies
 
niceguy47460
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 3 Apr, 2017 08:44 am
@Smin11,
don't ignore anything . if he keeps it up and so does she then there is only one thing left to leave her or kick her out
0 Replies
 
 

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