Does he like me?

Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2016 10:41 am
There is this guy who I met through my best friend. He is actually my best friends boyfriends best friend. When I met him he was in a relationship and so was I. Soon after, we both became single. I was around a lot at my best friends apt and he was too. Me and him became pretty good friends. We both smoke so we would always end up on the balcony smoking together while everyone else remained inside. We had light conversation and we get along very well. He's a really great guy but he's very shy and I'm having a hard time figuring out if he may be interested in me bc I am very interested in him. He got a job in a nearby state recently and moved so he isn't around as much and the difficult thing is that he is a guy who does not like to use his phone. He doesn't get on social media often and he's very old school so he doesn't text a lot at all. In the past before he got the new job, we would drink as a group and a few times we stayed in the spare bedroom at my best friends apt together but never had sex. We had done other things but he could never have sex with me because he felt bad that he still had feelings for the girl he had just ended a relationship with. (The girl had cheated and never ended things officially, she just cut him off and stopped talking to him altogether.) we never talked a lot or made plans during the week but on the weekends we would just end up both at my friends place and hang out. Finally Halloween weekend (Saturday night) after a party we attended together as a friend group, me and him had sex and slept together afterwards. The next day I was really hungover and throwing up every 30 minutes, he kept bringing me water, he went and bought me food and brought it back and cooked it for me, he was laying beside me on the couch all day, and was trying to do anything he could to make me feel better. Then his friend (my best friends boyfriend) told me that he had said he really wanted to hook up with me again before he went back to the other state that night for the work week. Like I said before he is really shy so he didn't come right out and say it to me. Also I want to add that he's 25 and has only slept with a few girls. He's not a player in the least. I guess he just really enjoyed the sex the night before so we ended up having sex again that afternoon after I was feeling better. He had nothing but great things to say about the sex which made me happy of course. But anyway, this is where I'm getting a little confused. I packed my bags to go home and he packed his bags to go back to his work location and when I was leaving he asked me if I needed help carrying my bags down to my car (something that he had never offered before the whole time we have been friends) and I politely declined because I didn't have a lot to carry but he then took the bag off of my shoulder and insisted on carrying it for me. So we walked down to my car and we had a short conversation about how if we are sleeping with each other we don't want the other to sleep with anyone else. He agreed, he didn't want me to sleep with anyone else either unless I told him about it first. Then he kissed me goodbye which is something else he has never done before. We have kissed several times in the past but usually we're both drunk and it's only when we're hooking up. So this was very shocking to me. I drove home and unpacked and went to sleep. The next day, he texted me at 9 am and said "well I just didn't sleep at all." And I messaged back and we carried the conversation for the duration of that day. By the end of the day on Monday I decided I was going to talk to him about something that needed to be said. I told him that I was noticing he was doing things that he doesn't normally do. Such as carrying my bags down, kissing me goodbye, and texting me when I know texting isn't something that he likes to do at all. I told him that if he was just trying to do the "right" thing and not just **** me and cut me off then I appreciated it but he didn't owe me anything just because he had sex with me. I told him I liked everything he was doing but I didn't expect it out of him so he did not have to do it. He replied saying that he wasn't doing it just to do the right thing, he felt more comfortable with me now (whatever that means). And he said he was glad I liked it because that's just who he is. These messages were really making me feel like he was interested in me so I was happy and excited. That same night we continued texting and I jokingly told him that "sweet" things that boys do for me make me weird and awkward if he couldn't tell. And his response was "I like weird and awkward, it keeps me on my toes." I never replied back to this message because I fell asleep. The next day (Tuesday) he never messaged me, I messaged him first around 3 pm and we had a short conversation and I sent the last text at around 6 and he never messaged back. Wednesday he never messaged me (again) so I messaged him first and said I hope he had a good day, he replied and told me about his day but again I fell asleep and never replied to his last message. Yesterday (Thursday) I went to my best friends house and was hanging out with her and her boyfriend and the guy I like hadn't messaged me all day for the third day now so I sent him a Snapchat that said "my smoking buddy disappeared" with a picture of a cigarette. He replied and said "I'm right here" we had a short conversation and I made a joke saying that I wanted him to come home tonight, who needs work. And he said "I would way rather be there than here, I'm on my way" but he was joking because he had work today, Friday. I told him I wouldn't be available this weekend because I have something very important that I have to attend all day on Saturday and Sunday and he replied saying "that's a bummer" and that's it. I never messaged back. So that is the situation. I don't know if he's interested because I've read so many places online that if a man is interested in you, they will come to you. They will pursue you. So I'm confused because on Monday he messaged me first but every single day following that, he hasn't contacted me at all. Until I contact him. He's a great guy and he always messaged back even though I know he hates using his phone. But I just don't know if he still views me as only a friend. Which is fine I just feel like I'm getting a little bit of mixed signals from him. Like I said he is very shy so I know he would never come out and say "I like you" at least not this early on. But I think maybe he was just trying to be a good guy by messaging me after we had sex. I'm trying not to let it consume by mind and just act cool about it and see where it goes but I feel like he's not giving me much to work with. I would really appreciate any advice.
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Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2016 10:45 am
Don't wait to find out. Ask him out. As in a date. You know, with dinner and a movie or something like that.

Don't be coy and wait around.
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Reply Sat 14 Jan, 2017 03:42 am
He sounds like a very sweet guy! What you can do this point is sit around and let the question boil in you until you explode, oooor you can just ask him. I know it can be scary, 'cause who know's what he's going to say? Maybe he just stopped texting so much cause he's not much of a phone guy. I'm the exact same way. Worst comes to worst, you ask, and he says he was just being kind. At least then you can move on. But I'm rooting for you!
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Reply Fri 2 Jun, 2017 04:52 am
It can be a sweet relationship if you just ask him out. He definitely likes you. Just go for it.
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