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Breaking up when I think it's gone toxic

 
 
njbenda
 
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2022 12:03 pm
To put it simply, I (23 F) feel like giving up on my relationship with 24 M. We've been long distance for a while, but we we're in-person from Nov 2020 to August 2021.

I tried asking if I could visit for spring break. We had discussed this in Jan. and he said yes. We talked about meeting up the weekend before spring break week- we had not decided who would be traveling. When it started to come up, I said I could travel, but I couldn't do the first weekend and preferred the weekend before school started for him again. He just said no, he was going to be too busy and there was an important test the following week.

I got upset; I said that I didn't expect every waking moment with him, but we would just study in the day and go out at night or just hang out. Bottom line, I didn't have any crazy expectations. He said he wanted to make my trip worthwhile and spend more time with me. To me, this was weird because when we lived close together, we hardly ever did elaborate date nights. He just said that it was different this time because I was traveling far.

Ever since then, I've had trouble trusting him. I still can't wrap my head around him not wanting to see me, but he insists that he does want to. He says he does want to make it work, but that it's not if I don't trust him. This isn't the first thing that pissed me off. He didn't send anything for Valentine's even though he made me a cake last year (so he can't plead ignorance). He struggles with making calls because it makes him nervous (?) but is always there to answer if I call first. We plan on meeting up when his school is out, but I'm just feeling extremely discouraged. I don't know if I should give him another chance.
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 442 • Replies: 5
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2022 03:00 pm
He’s not there for you, it seems.

Do you sense he REALLY misses you?

It may be the wrong time for you two.
0 Replies
 
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2022 04:32 pm
If you've reached this end then it's just time to break off.
0 Replies
 
The1Barbie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2022 08:01 pm
@njbenda,
I can't tell you what to do but it looks like the long distance thing is creating communication issues. As far as not sending anything on Valentine's, well, sometimes people have a lot on their mind and they unintentionally forget things. Or they might want to send something but don't have the money at the moment.
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bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Mar, 2022 09:16 pm

Ask yourself: how must worse can this get? Don't walk away. Run.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Mar, 2022 09:54 am
@njbenda,
Hey there njb:

You don't say how long you've been together. Was it good when it was in person (Nov 2020-Aug 2021)? Why do you feel like 'giving up'? Why not just take a breather?

I can't really give you advice, not knowing either of you or your relationship, but when you calm down, what advice would you give your best friend in this scenario?
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