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How do bf and I move past this

 
 
Viousb
 
Reply Thu 20 Oct, 2022 04:38 pm
I (22f) was assaulted by a “family friend”(32m) 3 weeks ago. He is a creep, always been a creep. We briefly had a fling a long time ago.It seems like my bf(26m) is having a harder time with it then I have and it’s made our relationship awful.
Bf is 26 and we have been together for 2 years.

One day he is supportive, and another day he is angry that I put myself in a bad situation. I don’t really think I put myself in a bad situation because I was at my house. He thinks that because I was drinking. Another day it’s like a weird sex contest. He doesn’t want me to go anywhere and makes me feel like I cheated on him and has said some shitty things, wants me to move in with him. This has been very stressful for both of us and we have been fighting a lot. I genuinely regret telling anyone anything and am starting to resent him. I want to sit him down and have a real conversation what should I say. Any advice please. I don’t want this to mess up our relationship permanently. What should I do?
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 20 Oct, 2022 07:00 pm
@Viousb,
Counseling. Talk to an impartial professional about this. Both of you, if possible. If your boyfriend won't go, then go alone—but also think about what it means if he doesn't want to work on this.

PS you don't have to stay together forever, you know.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Thu 20 Oct, 2022 07:56 pm
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

PS you don't have to stay together forever, you know.

Check
Chloeoskar11
 
  -4  
Reply Fri 21 Oct, 2022 05:34 pm
@roger,
Yes thats true
0 Replies
 
PoliteMight
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 22 Oct, 2022 07:44 pm
@Viousb,
Just play it off and let it roll off. Your boy-toy sounds controlling and possessive, like he owns you.

You need to learn to be positive. Not a border-line lesbian. Let life be. Nor be some loser who watched "Biker Boyz" too many times and then go "that is my people" bs. Seriously....

Just be upbeat and friendly and let it roll off. Otherwise go into details.

........

....................
1. Your not really being clear on what exactly happen at all. So far it sounds like nothing happen at all.

2. You claim you and this guy "had a fling" so in reality you and him already have a connection with each other. It is like if I went in for a kiss from a girl I knew that wanted me from a long time ago, and I took her _____ right now. With guys you have to make sure that you state "we are platonic friends, like brother and sister". Where you might be ___ age and still wrestle with each other and get into fights, and dance around among other activities. I was in college and remember this girl who would not STFU about "I have a boyfriend" to another girl who never let me knew she has a boyfriend.

Sometimes you need to just state this fact as many times possible to every new guy you meet. Even if it sounds silly and robotic.

Another factor is to actually be playful, fun, and exciting, and not antagonistically barbaric. It is better then coming off like some kind of messed-up mental border-line-lesbian monster. That could cause problems.

Every-time my family member invest in one of these racist, border-line, karens, fem-nazi, or whatever deranged women I do not spend my money. I just say "you gave ____ money, you spent ____ on _____ " and stress that point with the bills as well. Until the bills get balanced out again.

I would rather root for the next jack-the-ripper, who takes them out then burn my blood on sweat on the next waste of my existence.

3.

0 Replies
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 4 Nov, 2022 02:29 pm
@Viousb,
I felt what you mean by the real conversation that you have with him when you sit him down. . I want to do the same kind of thing as I know a good talking to changes everything. It seems though we are stalling or something. . I want the gf and the bf to be nice and not act like they are acting.
0 Replies
 
Mrknowspeople
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 7 Nov, 2022 09:14 pm
@Viousb,
You need to get passed it yourself and not worry about them. Why can't you get passed it?
0 Replies
 
 

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