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Mon 27 Jan, 2003 07:11 pm
A couple months ago I met a lady at a party. After a couple of hours I worked up the courage to ask her phone number (which she gave me). So a few days later I decide to call. Again I gather my courage and make the call. She answers and almost immediately asks my to call a few days later. No problem. I make 2 calls on that day (again gathering the courage to do so each time) and get friends. (She's not available). I figured at this point I probably wasted my time. So I wait a few weeks, work up the courage and call again-3 times before I get an answer. This time she answers. I express concern at the number of phone calls I have made (I don't want to seem like a stalker) but she assures me it was OK, that her mobile had been left in a friend's car so she didn't know about them anyway. So at this point I ask if she would like to spend some time together so that we can get better acquainted? Absolutely she replies. "But I'm busy this weekend, can I call you when I'm free?" Not a problem. So I wait another 3 weeks, and decide to call again. 2 more calls get her answering machine where I leave messages. She never replied and I didn't call again. 8 times I have to work up the courage to make the effort only to get a virtual kick in the groin.
What the hell is the point?
Good point, Wilso.
Bummer. But then, that's the point she hopes you'll get. She's just too polite to say so. Bitch.
timber
Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all
Think of it as practice. So shes not really interested....theres those, and then there are nice women who actually do want you to call...you'll find one, and you'll have had the gathering of your courage practice to feel better about it.
Better luck next time guy, dont take it to heart...just part of the cycle.
timberlandko wrote:Good point, Wilso.
Bummer. But then, that's the point she hopes you'll get. She's just too polite to say so. Bitch.
timber
Polite? Where do people get the idea that not telling the truth is polite?
It was pretty wrong for her to tell you to call..repetitively when she wasnt interested, that was wrong....but not everyone is right. You should certainly give those efforts towards someone kinder.
There's someone kinder???
Of course not, wilso. They're all like that.
I can say quite honestly that every one I've met is.
I'm sure there is, Wilso! She doesn't sound very kind at all to me!
Wilso, what you went through must have been very difficult, to put it mildly. Even though this is the 21st Century, it still seems like the "burden" of getting that first date falls on the guy's shoulder most of the time.
That woman wasn't nice at all. Be glad you didn't get mixed up with her. But, believe me, there are nice women out there. You seem like an intelligent and very good person. And I happen to know you're good looking, which can't hurt any.
Please don't think all women are mean, because that just isn't so. Don't let one no-good female discourage you from finding the right one.
Only Men bleed? Don't think so, Wilso. We're all just programmed to seek what we can't get. As Willy would say, "Take some new infection unto thine eye." Well, he didn't exactly say it that way, but you get the drift, right?
What? Guys have trouble finding women? I always thought it was women having trouble finding guys!
Now this is what a woman would do if she were you, Wilso.... call the friend who had the party and chat... making sure to talk about this prospective "date" --- Tell what happened, talk about all the calls and the weeks of waiting, and then ask "What is wrong with her?" And also, "Is she always like this?" Try to ensure that your comments flow back through the grapevine to her, especially that you think she did ya wrong. Throw yourself a pity party. Then a woman would probably ask the party-giving friend if there were any other possibilities at the party that you missed out on because of this one.
THAT is what a woman would do! It might not do any good, but it makes you feel LOADS better. Does that help?
Piffka, great response!
Oh Roger, we're not all like that darling, nada nada nada ... but I love yah anyway!
piffka, I would surely not take that approach, but to each her own!
Really? Littlek if you were at my party and met one of my friends who took your number and said he'd call... You would never mention it to me? Why not? I'd want to know!!!
I'd be able to say "Oh that guy Fred -- he thinks he's a gift to women and has never called anybody. He's gone back to his first wife. I'm sorry, didn't I warn you? But listen, this guy, Wilso was here. Quiet. I know, and unassuming, but handsome. Really good-looking and smart, too. You may not have noticed him if you were dealing with Fred. How 'bout if I have you and him over for another get-together?"
See. That's how it works! Cool, huh?
It's cool how that works, but I still prolly wouldn't mention it. I'd discuss if I was asked by the host(ess) if s/he'd picked up on the spark and wanted to follow through.
I only mention this because I know a few
people who really ARE like this; they are
so scatterbrained that they make some
arrangements, and then forget about them.
She may indeed wish to get together with
you - but is an extremely scatterbrained
type of person. In which case, YOU have
to decide - is THIS the type of person for
me??? Wilso, you do not strike me as a guy
who would go for a Goldie Hawn type,
attractive though she may be.
On the other hand, she may be such a poor
communicator that she simply can't find the
courage to say NO to you! Or to anybody.
So....what's the point.
The point is - NEVER, EVER TAKE ANYTHING
THAT ANYONE ELSE DOES OR SAYS
PERSONALLY.
Why not, you may ask???
Yes, why not... BECAUSE the events of the
past few weeks, or months or whatever
have absolutely NOTHING to do with you.
They have everything to do with her.
Either she has a problem and can't say no.
Or she is scatterbrained and not your type.
BUT - to take this as a personal affront,
would be a grave error in judgment.
This is simply a story about a person that
you know. The person that you THOUGHT
you wanted to get to know better.
NOW - you have gotten to know her well
enough - to know that you do not want
to get to know her any more than you do
already!
In a tiny book called; THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
there are given 4 premises:
1. ALWAYS BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
or say what you mean and mean what you say
2. NEVER TAKE ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS
PERSONALLY - IT ISN'T
3. NEVER, EVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
There is alot of other stuff in this tiny little gem
of a book, but if for no other reason than to
understand the reality of agreement #2 - it is
worth its weight in gold.
When I try to tell you about you, I am really
telling you about me. So, if I call you names,
insult you, treat you like garbage..... what I
am REALLY saying is that's what I think of myself.
YOU - have nothing to do with anything, you
are but an innocent (sort of) bystander in the
life of this strange woman.
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