Who can get the drunken kickycan closest to his house?

Now I'M jealous. I thought Kicky was MY bitch?

KKKKKIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCKKKKY!

I DEMAND you choose! Panzade or ME!

Now I know Pan is interesting, intelligent, well rounded and knows more about music than the average person, but, please consider the wonderful time we had the other night, remember the drunken stupor you were in? It makes me want to sing "Memories" -"like the corners of my mind" beautiful. <tears welling>

Pan and I wait for your reply.

Uh oh.

I stumbled over kicky and found this in his pocket while I was looking for money. It said "To Paula":

Kicycan's [sic] Blues (Four Sheets to the Wind in Manhattan) thank's Tom Waits, for the whiskey and the words...and the promise not to sue for copyright infringement.

Wasted and wounded, it ain't what the moon did
Got what I paid for now
See ya tomorrow, hey Frank can I borrow
A couple of bucks from you?
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley
And tired of all these soldiers here
No one speaks English and everything's broken
And my Stacys are soaking wet
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cab's parking
A lot they can do for me
I begged you to stab me, you tore my shirt open
And I'm down on my knees tonight
Old Bushmill's I staggered, you buried the dagger
Your silhouette window light
To go waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

Now I lost my Saint Christopher now that I've kissed her
And the one-armed bandit knows
And the maverick Chinaman and the cold-blooded signs
And the girls down by the strip-tease shows
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

No, I don't want your sympathy
The fugitives say that the streets aren't for dreaming now
Manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories
They want a piece of the action anyhow
Go, waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And you can ask any sailor and the keys from the jailor
And the old men in wheelchairs know
That Matilda's the defendant, she killed about a hundred
And she follows wherever you may go
Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda
You'll go a waltzing Matilda with me

And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace
And a wound that will never heal
No prima donna, the perfume is on
An old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey
And goodnight to the street sweepers
The night watchman flame keepers and goodnight to Matilda too

Are you sure it didn't say "To Pan", wasn't it hard to read drunken scribbling in a dark alley?

P.S. I think you should do the right thing and split the money with me.

Oh, I took it home to read. Sadly, all of kicky's money was in lire, but if you want some, you're welcome to it.

Horrible, horrible...rifling a drunk's pockets!

Hey, I didn't kick him or poke him with a stick.

Hey, panzade, do you think you and I should have a quick Paula sandwich while kicky is away?

I'm sure she'd be willing and kicky is too dumb to notice.

"I'm SINGing in the rain!, Just SINGing in the rain"

You are a true friend. <I nod>

Gus, no you can't make a sandwich out of me!

Pan, has Kicky been e-mailing you or...... you know, trying to make contact? I'm not JEALOUS, or anything, I just want to know the truth. <tapping fingers>

How about after you're sleeping?

Why?????...are you reading my e-mail???...
There's been a sedan parked on the corner for a couple of days. A fat guy sits and eats doughnuts...is he your employee Paula????
Did you hire him to spy on me???....
Please, I have to know!!!

Gus---NO

Pan--Tell that fat b*stard to put the donuts down and do his job!

Unconscious?

Well.........maybe.

Yeah, I think unconscious would be Paula's choice for suffering through your attentions.

Whew! I didn't want to advance to the next step.

Necrophilia isn't my cup of tea.

Question... how to get me in an unconscious state without me being aware?

That's way too deep for me.

Panzade, you take that one.