My bf parents said I am not good enough for their son (bf made suicide comment) don't know what 2 do

Reply Fri 12 Aug, 2016 04:44 pm
So my bf told me yesterday his parents don't like me bc they think I'm below him and he can do better.
They want someone with a PhD just like him even though they know I'm college.
They are encouraging and pushing him to date other women and forget about me.

They also told him he should date a white American women just like him. (I'm hispanic)

They are also afraid he will leave them and move away once he gets serious with me and they don't want that to happen bc apparently they have a toxic attachment to their children, their other two kids married and moved away, they don't want that to happen to him too. (Btw he has his own house and is 32, I'm 28).

My bf also told me he would rather commit suicide than having to go back to the dating world again bc it sucks and he wasn't lucky until he found me. And that we will work through this issue and it will make our relationship stronger.

The thing is after he told me all this we hung up the phone bc he was out busy. An hour later he texts me saying: I love you!!! (For the first time ever since we started dating) so I said I love him back too. Then I didn't hear from him all afternoon. At 8:40 I sent him a text asking where he was and he never replied back. I waited until 10ish and sent another text saying hello and still did not get a reply back. Then I called and he didn't answer then i sent another text asking if he was breaking up with me and i didnt get an answer either so I really got worried bc of his comment earlier about suicide. Therefore I sent another text area midnight telling him to please say something that I loved him and I was worried about him, I wanted to know if he was okay. Then at almost 6am I received a text from him saying: Sorry I fell asleep. That's the last time I heard from him bc I haven't texted back and idk if I should.

Now idk what to think or what to expect, if I break up with him I'm afraid he won't be okay bc he mentioned suicide. Idk if that was just an expression or if he actually meant it. But if I keep waiting for him to come out of the cave and talk to me I'm gonna feel lost not knowing what he has in mind.

I understand he is in a very difficult position right now it's basically choosing between his parents or me. He is very close to them but he also wants to have his own life and family of his own.

Idk what to do or what to think anymore. If I keep trying to contact him for answers I feel like I'm pressuring him and he might end up getting depressed and doing something bad but if I decide to leave her might also become depressed bc he said he wants me in his life.

BTW we always meet on Fridays at 6 pm and its now already past 6 pm and I haven't heard from him and I am worried I might not hear from him again, which makes me sad.
Any opinions or suggestions?
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Reply Fri 12 Aug, 2016 06:01 pm
How long have you two been together?

I ask because if it's been a significant amount of time, then you are both probably pretty committed (the timing of the "I love yous" aside). If not, then his parents are intervening early. Not nice, of course, but you are getting a taste of them now.

Anyway, you are both over 18. You say he has his own home. At some point in time, if parents are doing this, then an adult child has to tell them to butt out or the relationship ends. They can either get a relationship on the child's terms, or no relationship at all.

If you have been together a long time, then that's a logical step. I wouldn't push for it or even suggest it. Rather, I would see what he does.

But your statement troubles me, that you only get together once per week. His parents may (semi-)legitimately feel you two aren't serious.
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