Why am I not over her yet? - It's been a year and a half

After about 2 years of privately lusting over each other, a co-worker and I had a brief fling in late 2014. We did not have sex, but she pushed all my right buttons. Sounds stupid, but I felt more of a connection and it was much more intense emotionally than just having sex. We had a definite connection. I moved across the country just a few days after our brief fling - the move had been planned for some time.

The other woman (we'll call "D") and I kept in contact for a few months, but because I'm deeply religious and also that I had moved away anyway, I felt I must end what was left of the affair. At first I cried alot. Then I got mad at God for not allowing this. Then I tried to bargain with God. Then I just got depressed. I thought that around the beginning to 2016 I was turning the corner and finally getting to the acceptance stage.

It seems though I'm relapsing lately. The last few days I've cried harder than I ever did. Why is this happening now - a whole year and a half later. I suppose because right now my wife is out of town for a few weeks and I'm lonely that's part of it, but still! I had thought that with time and effort the memory of "D" would fade and that I would relearn to love my wife. I assume that "D" has moved on, but the total silence is killing me and I am dying to know where she is at.

Ever read the 5 love languages book? "D" really hit my particular love language well and hers is the same - it was so easy with her. It was a unique and completely intoxicating experience. Meanwhile my wife does not and puts up a fight if I push her on it. That's what draws me to "D" and not so much my wife, though I love her in many other ways. I'm sad because I feel that I should be able to "choose" to love my wife (love is supposed to be more of a choice than a feeling, right?). And of course I want to do what I believe is the right thing - honor God and my wife.

I read the deep wisdom of things on facebook (j/k) like:
"It's time to just be happy. Being angry, sad, and overthinking just isn't worth it anymore. Just let things flow. Be positive." -or- "you are not defined by yesterday's failures. You are defined by today's faithfulness. Stop looking back in the rear-view. You don't live there anymore." The second one is what got me today - I'm crying because I don't want to give up what is already gone. As much as I want to I can't seem to strong arm myself into these mentalities. Of course my primary source of wisdom is the Bible. It says that if I make an affair a way of life I will go to hell. Yes God does indeed forgives those who want it, but believe me there is plenty the Bible says about those who make sin a way of life - scares me to death!

20 years ago when I was dating I went thru an awful breakup and thought life could not go on. Of course it did, but it only took a year to get over after the six year relationship ended. So why now does a one week relationship take so far a year and a half to get over? Help.

Any thoughts?