moving in together

So talk to her about a time limit for her son, a timetable for him to move out.

Get locks for whatever rooms where they are needed. Get a safety deposit box or storage facility for other stuff.

Is the kid a drug abuser who sells stuff to support a habit? Then put your foot down about all of that stuff.

Expect her to choose her son over you, BTW.

yes do expect her to choose her son of course ,, problem with choosing a time limit is it keeps changing

Well then, let her know when he moves out, you'll move in.

And stays out.

Exactly.

I don't understand why some people seem to want to go out of their way to insert unneeded drama in their lives.

It would be obvious to my cat that moving in when the son is still living there won't end well.