Neverending Rap Battle

only if ya want theTruth, I'll call a truce if ya want...it's on you man.... you have tight wordplay...I keep saying tha cause your crazy with taht ****...I'm just starting out on it. so i'm not really that good at it....dont even think i'm good at it...respect to you theTruth.....i'm out..

huh? did i jus see that......?....tite ass bars u cats is droppin....im tryin to keep up wit u cats.......holy ****, u cats is ill waddup Doc an quik......

yo was good wit u AreGee that bar **** was just a one time thing i'm goin back 2 my old rappin style keep it pimpin i'm out peace

true as.....yea ima keep writin workin on ma ish...take it easy Quik peace

what is that man? what ya mean, and thanks for the compliments..you should drop acouple bars man....

i was sayin that i couldnt believe that u cats is rippin up the forum wit ur rhymes....u got explosive ****..........ma rhymes is wak...wen compared to urs........

n e one wanna battle thats at my level?

well still drop acoule of rymes, i'll help you, see where you need help and teach you some ****...

yea aight man......

Broke kids everywhere, born into poverty
only clothes i had was rags sent from a charity
man i die to see all the H-I-V and A-I-D-S
couldnt eat coz ma father didnts make money, wasnt there for days
this is ma real life experiance at the tender age of 17
3rd world was what i thought was everyday to me
till i first saw pictures on T.V.
there were actors but lived in a real family
i found out that there were other countries
that had greener pastures, an had no voilence, but were harmless
no gun shots ringin through my brain
robberies nearly everyday
now i moved away, happy to be away
now in oz, livin like ma past was ok
but jus between u an me, we know the truth
ma uncle got shot up fo not let criminals take his belongins fo loot
i was only 8 wen i moved away from south africa
so u think this is the truth???

That was jus a freestyle..bout ma life in south africa

u think it was aight?

thanks fo that Doc, i'll stay yo rap client

all-in-all aregee it was ok, needs work. My opinion, it was a good rap, spitting your life into a rap. needs better vocab..check it, i'll give you a bar by bar break down...

Broke kids everywhere, born into poverty
only clothes i had was rags sent from a charity
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was was a good line to open with, you could of used another word for broke, to get the reader going. ex..Pitiful, miserable, needy, hard up etc...

man i die to see all the H-I-V and A-I-D-S
couldnt eat coz ma father didnts make money, wasnt there for days
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
1st line was good, second, youcould of shorten it up to match the length of the 1st line..."eating wasn't an option, money wasn't there for days"

3rd world was what i thought was everyday to me
till i first saw pictures on T.V.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
1st line didn't make sense..didn't know what you were trying to say there..second line was good, nice wording..

there were actors but lived in a real family
i found out that there were other countries
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this bar, doesnt' really need to be there, it's filler...and families/countries doesn't really ryme much.... so drop this bar...

that had greener pastures, an had no voilence, but were harmless
no gun shots ringin through my brain
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this i'm not to sure bout either, 1st of all didn't ryme, and the second line is good. just the 1st line didn't ryme with the second line..

robberies nearly everyday
now i moved away, happy to be away
now in oz, livin like ma past was ok
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
your missing a line in this...try to stick to bars, and making a verse that's uneven doesnt' look fresh..it was good multie, all in all that was a good bar, execpt the other line.. either get rid of it, or add another one..

but jus between u an me, we know the truth
ma uncle got shot up fo not let criminals take his belongins fo loot
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
good use of personals in this 1st line...the second line, could be shortened up agian...."uncle got shot up for not trading his belongings for loot".see..

i was only 8 wen i moved away from south africa
so u think this is the truth???
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
good closeing bar, but it didn't ryme man, it would be stronger if you made every bar ryme, or sound a like




all in all aregee, it was good man
main points to rememeber:[/u]
1. try to stick to the bars and make them ryme,
2. try to keep your lines the same..uneven bars sound wack.
3. rhyming words are key to a freestyle..

it as good aregee,keep it up....this is just an opinion ofmine, so dont take it to heart aigh tman

Re: Okay Detox, lets go...
Every1 here hates you there i said it
keep rollin along bitch you got no street credit
you aint even a fellow, hello?
is anyone here oops i made you disappear
its so clear now no-1 is goin scream and shout
you can suck my dick with cream quik high time argee and eryk and rappin machines,
they do this **** with ease,please hootchie go over there and sneeze
sooner or later you use my raps for feeding
ill set up another meeting with my rap
and i might lay off the pimp smack
you lack the ability yo such a dumbass you cant spell agility
just look at me tearin strips yo made a messand u dont even twitch
i think its time to hitchhike foward and take lines from your the cemetery
your ordinary bitch dont even scare me
you dont even got a flow, hello?
when i drop my line i try to get to the punchline
its now crunchtime whats the time?
its time for me to get my niggas and hoe
and when i get back here i wanna hear your try and crow!

c'mon bitch,I mean twitch get a judge

eyo eryk quik aregee can yall judge for me? cause this bitch needs to be put down

detox definitely wins stronger punches and just a better rap

Detox...
Okay i think its fair to say, its over, that s*** was biased, just slightly,
I need a judge of my choice, that makes sense, i deserve to win, rightly,
He aint a rapper, he aint a gangsta, he just a geek with a computer,
Armed with a dictonairy, weapon of choice, a motherf***ing ruler,
You must be new to all this, dont worry, i'll cut you some slack,
Or i'll make your lungs collapse, cant breathe, a lyrical asthma attack,
Acting like your being attacked, milli second reaction, take defence,
No offense, but you should just chill, it makes perfect sense,
I got respect for quik, he good, now Detox insist's on replying,
Well reply to this ****, hurry up, my angers multiplying.

dj quik kid freestyle

i aint new in this game i've been here for a while/some have stayed others have been driven into exile/hot rappers been poppin up and they got some mad skill/others it's like this is an easy kill/respect 2 my group ya'll know who you are/some rappers on here suck so much they gotta wish for skill on a star/my raps are as tight as the new jersey devil/so for all u lookin for a battle get on my level/ytz is always poppin up and takin a shot/but i kill him and people want him 2 go somewhere else to rot/dj quik kid is my name and flowin is my game/on here is where i have most of my fame/i got bitches lined up for blocks waitin 2 get on this dick/my ryhmes run smooth like they were comin from slick rick/some people here stay hidden in the shadows/cuz they can't handle any real rap battles/if you wanna battle hit me up you know where to find me/and you'll end up like all the other mcees just a dead body behind me/i could kick freestyles on the mic or over the net/if u bet on me battlin you have a safe bet/all rappers that verse me are in a path of devestation/my ryhmes are magic like david blane's levitation/when it comes to diamonds i got more rocks than a quarry/a few peoples raps on here bore me/ytz is into boxin but he already got knocked out/so now his rappin career is on lockdown/people have tried to take me down wit their ryhmes/but i hit back wit stronger and longer lines/all you bitches hatin should kneel and kiss the ring/only way you'll have it your way is if you go to burger king/some people here are so poor they sleep in a box on a matress/lil miss B can't rap so she should try to be an actress/i kill rappers so i'm kinda like a hit man for hire/some people are goin no where it's like they got a flat tire/not all rappers here are obsolete/just the ones that the administrator here had to delete/cuz they were bein abused by rappers like it's high school/on the net is my second home on the mic is where i rule/my freetstyles are put out everywhere on albums and mixtapes/some people make it in videos of child rape/i'm a horror straight out a movie in sci fi/so none of u bitches are crushin my high/i got all the bitches wantin to give me a BJ/when i rap you'd think i'm lil wayne cuz people are sayin Go DJ

respect 2 u to Twitch

Yo, no disrespect with this battle, I'm looking at lyrical content aight, so No disrespect, to anyone..

Detox
vs
Twitch

Punches:Detox
Personals: none
Wordplay: none
Multies: Detox
Structure: Twitch
Creativity:Twitch
Consistency:Twitch
Vote:[/u] Twitch
Reason: I think twitch came harder, he used better vocab, and it flowed really well, came with some good punches too, but I'd have to say Twitch is the winner of this one.

Good battle guys!

lookin 4 a battle