Should I stay with my boyfriend?

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I love spending time with my boyfriend more than anything. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, amazing in bed, we go everywhere together, we work together, he's literally my best friend. But anytime we go somewhere, even if he invited me, I usually end up paying for it. He has a $8,000 debt. I'm not sure how when he's 21 living with his parents. So I understand money is harder for him. But I spend up to $200 a week on him and I (movies, eating, motels), and he spends maybe 40$. We make the same pay by the way.
And it's starting to get harder to deal with when I'm trying to save up for my first car and my own apartment.

On top of that, at work I had to deal with a coworker who constantly groped me or tried to. When I reported it at work, because my bf told me he also was spreading the rumor that I was "asking for it", my boyfriend didn't want his name involved because he wants to stay friend with that awful coworker, because "hes a cool friend". Is it just me or is that not okay to be friends with someone who does that?

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@SteffRose,

SteffRose wrote:

he's literally my best friend.

But I spend up to $200 a week on him and I (movies, eating, motels), and he spends maybe 40$. We make the same pay by the way.

my boyfriend didn't want his name involved because he wants to stay friend with that awful coworker, because "hes a cool friend".

not sure where you get the idea that best friends treat each other the way your boyfriend seems to be treating you

To begin with, I'd suggest you put a limit on what you both spend on going out. Perhaps $50/week would be a good limit (seems high to me , but I don't really like going out - I prefer to spend my extra money on dance classes). Set the limit in your own mind and stick to it. If your boyfriend has a problem with it, you can tell him you're on a budget as you're saving for first and last month's rent for your own apartment.

The thing with the co-worker may even be worse (from my perspective). Your partner needs to be thinking of you before a cool friend.

__

on a slightly different level, I wouldn't recommend this person as someone you want to be involved with long-term. Don't get into a lease or anything similar with him. He needs to learn financial management before he is part of an adult relationship.

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@SteffRose,

Your boyfriend has some weird priorities.

Are you close enough to talk about his debt? College (even if he didn't finish) is one thing. Gambling debts or a bad spending problem is something else entirely. I am not saying you have to turn into the Morality Police with him, but it may make a difference to you, if he went into debt to entertain himself or improve himself.

As for the work pal, I take it your relationship is not known at work - at all, or just not by this coworker? If the coworker didn't know (and I am not excusing his behavior at all), then I wonder what else your boyfriend is keeping secret. As for him remaining pals with this boundary-less jerk, I really have to wonder about that particular choice. If I were being bothered at work, my husband would maintain the barest level of civility with that person, in order to keep himself from being arrested and me from being fired or retaliated against. But he (my husband) sure as hell wouldn't be friends with the harasser. I am more of a priority to my husband than any 'cool friend' of his is.

You might want to start asking those kinds of questions.

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Your BF puts the feeling of that groping creep ahead of yours.

Your BF uses you to entertain him and has not taken steps to take care of your needs.

You SURE he's BF material?

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Dump this jerk. NOW.

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@SteffRose,

Quote:

I love spending time with my boyfriend more than anything. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, amazing in bed, we go everywhere together, we work together, he's literally my best friend. But anytime we go somewhere, even if he invited me, I usually end up paying for it. He has a $8,000 debt. I'm not sure how when he's 21 living with his parents. So I understand money is harder for him. But I spend up to $200 a week on him and I (movies, eating, motels), and he spends maybe 40$. We make the same pay by the way.
And it's starting to get harder to deal with when I'm trying to save up for my first car and my own apartment.

Your boyfriend just might be a gigolo

Quote:

On top of that, at work I had to deal with a coworker who constantly groped me or tried to. When I reported it at work, because my bf told me he also was spreading the rumor that I was "asking for it", my boyfriend didn't want his name involved because he wants to stay friend with that awful coworker, because "hes a cool friend". Is it just me or is that not okay to be friends with someone who does that?

I'm a guy. If my girlfriend or wife was being groped by my best friend, he would no longer be my friend. I also would verbally confront him. I personally avoid physical violence unless it is self defense. I know guys who would beat the crap out of their best friends or at the very least put him in his place for that kind of crap.

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Should I stay with my boyfriend?

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