Not sure what to think about relationship with GF

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Really into her, been dating 4 months. I am apparently the best thing since sliced bread compared to her other abusive boyfriends in the past. Etc etc. We are getting to know each other really well. She is a very emotional girl, very very 'cuddly' type. Like a netflix and chill type. I have no problem with that. Lots of couch time, off and on in the bed.

Here is the question and maybe I am over-thinking this: lately the past few weeks, she has been much less cuddly. I mean, she still leans into me. But much less. Sex is less often, she doesn't grab at me and 'get me going' so much as she used to. Is it possible she is friend-zoning me? Or... maybe it's more likely just that mushy 'honeymoon phase' as they call it, is ending as it typically does around 3-4 months. I feel like we are more 'friends' now than before.... in certain ways. Not all ways, but certain. Like more comfortable around each-other. Is that a good thing? Maybe we just have gotten to the point of knowing each-other really well. I ask her if she's happy, anything on her mind. She always says everything is good. So I am asking to get maybe different points of view, or maybe its what I am thinking: that I am overthinking

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 753 • Replies: 6

[+3] - ehBeth - 06/02/2016It doesn't sound like anything bad is happening. Sounds like she may be relaxing into the friendship part of the relationship - that's a good thing. Keep on talking to her - try not to worry...

@gorff,

same woman? http://able2know.org/topic/325353-1#post-6195349

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@ehBeth,

Yeah same one, I never heard back from you on that post. Just trying to figure out what's going on.. or if there is anything. I'm a guy.. so I think kinda like a guy sometimes

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@gorff,

It doesn't sound like anything bad is happening. Sounds like she may be relaxing into the friendship part of the relationship - that's a good thing.

Keep on talking to her - try not to worry too much.

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@gorff,

If she has low self esteme, picked all the wrong guys before, told at work she's useless, thinks you may be getting sick of her, in my opinion, she is going to be a bit of work, is going to need a lot of love, attention to finally believe in herself that she can be someone, is someone.

Instead of worrying about what she's doing/thinking if she's touching you enough, cuddling enough don't use words, use action give her more attention and let it progress into a trust relationship.

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"She's going to be a bit of work"

Yup! .

And your self doubt, neediness and codependency lean right into all her issues!

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@ehBeth,

Well, I talked to her last night. I mentioned it seems like she isnt as happy as she used to be. She says she is. I asked her if she was loosing interest in us/me, she says no. Then I asked her "here's what I really want to know, do you think that I am loosing interest in you?" and she just kinda shruggs her shoulders and says she doesn't know. She says that all her other relationships she's had, after a month or two, or three.... thats when every guy looses interest, gets bored, and screws her over. So what I took as her being unhappy was true, cause she backed off in a way to keep from feeling hurt and rejected. What I told her then was something like "cause I have not lost a bit of interest. Sometimes maybe I say something, or I don't say the same things I said before.. or do the same things I did before, whatever they are, and that could come across as loosing interest. But the fact is, I think we are great, Im really happy with you, and what you are seeing is actually me just becoming relaxed with you where we are at." She seemed to accept that, but I want to know if there is anything more I could say to reassure her. So thats where we are at

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Not sure what to think about relationship with GF

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