Bella Dea wrote:
Quote:So call me loose and immoral or whatever else you might ne thinking about me but I can tell you that I think some porn is healthy and normal for some people. Masturbation is healthy and normal( I suppose that's a no no too). Fantasizing is healthy and normal. I must be an awful person with a terrible marriage huh?
I've been reading some of your posts to get a more informed opinion of where you are coming from. I have some observations I would like to make.
I think a key to this entire issue can be found somewhere within the definition of pornography.
I have read about your disgust with our culture's prudish behavior. The fact that we think "nakedness" is evil and immoral, especially in public, drives you up the wall.
Pornography, by definition, is "films, magazines, writings, photographs, or other materials that are sexually explicit and intended to cause sexual arousal". (hold on a minute before objecting, I don't
completely agree with this definition.)
Well, the basic idea here concerns sexual arousal. This IS the key. A naked woman as a statue or even in some magazine may not be porn in and of itself. My definition of porn is slightly different than the textbook one offered above while it still focuses on the issue of arousal.
What makes something pornographic (in my humble opinion) is ANY form of media
when it is used to cause arousal. What this actually means is what may be exotic art to someone may be porn to someone else.
I still disagree with your assertion that some people need pornography (the act of allowing themselves to become sexually aroused through a form of media depicting someone who is not their spouse). For what? If, as a husband, I am away from my wife for a long period of time, then masturbation is probably acceptable (and yes, even vice versa for the wife. (Don't pass out that I am turning out to be "this liberal".)) The bottom line here is that if men must "relieve" themselves, then they can arouse themselves enough without having to feed off of external material.
Why should I dishonor my wife by seeking after materials concerning a stranger's sexuality to fill that need? The male psyche, when fed in this manner, begins to desire to fulfill these fantasies and begins to look for ways to make it happen. THIS IS THE NATURE OF MEN. The fact that some men will say it isn't so is nothing more than dishonesty.
Basically, I would actually say that, for me to watch a woman passionately kissing a man, and for me to become aroused, makes that into pornography (at least for me, and probably most men). No amount of nakedness is required, because the nakedness itself is not the evil.
I would like to think that you are just confused about the hangups about nudity that you despise in our culture. You rightly assert that there is nothing wrong with a woman for loving sex. And you are also right that nudity is not bad by itself, but for me to intentionally look at a woman with lust in my heart (Jesus' definition) is bad. And by these standards, I am nowhere near perfect and could not claim to be holier than anybody.
Quote:Never. Unlike you who seem to want to change everyones opinion, I like the fact that we are all different and enjoy different things. Which is why I would never tell you that you should change your life or your views. Live your life and let me live mine.
I have already addressed this. Really, there ARE ACTUALLY some perspectives out there that are dangerous. I could (but, naturally, never would) start advocating Nazism or some other form of hate. What would be your response if I said:
"Live your life and let me live mine."
I am simply arguing that pornography is one of those things. I know you aware of the countless children and women whose lives have been changed forever by the aggressive sexual acts of men who let their desire for sexual gratification completely overwhelm their discernment between what is healthy and what is demented. The victims of this spirit of lust are surely as numerous, if not more, than the victims of the Holocaust.
Bella,
I think it would be revealing if you paid more attention to why you dislike kids so much. You cannot raise well-adjusted kids in an environment where there is so little guidance and such a plethora of choices about how to entertain yourself. Constant Temptation to experience pleasure with little pressure to fulfill responsibilities is foolish.
The bottom line is that people must use wisdom and restraint in deciding how to forge the environment that their children are raised and that, indeed, they themselves live in.
I have decided not to have any broadcast TV (cable or even networks) in our home because I think that an environment with broadcast TV is unlikely to be one that I can control. I cannot take off all the irreverent, violent and sexually explicit commercials during, what might be, a decent show. I also know about human nature concerning TV: most of us tend to turn it on and leave it on for hours as we lazily gawk at the manifold colors and sounds it spits out.
The same forms of restraint that I use on myself (with regards to porn) and that I am using to raise my children you would (it would seem) call ridiculously excessive. Yet, at the same time, you don't like kids today.
Open-mindedness doesn't mean letting everything go and letting everyone be. Instead it means a willingness
to consider and understand other points of view before choosing your own (point of view).
Lastly, as I have said earlier, we cannot live "together" in this world, if we all insist that we should be able to do whatever "we" want. Inevitably, those two things collide.
All that said, I believe in the principle of people finding common ground, I think that, at least, some has been found. (I can't stand kids today either)
