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Mon 23 Aug, 2004 08:17 pm
For months now, actually years, but more like weeks, I have been wondering about something and last night in a dream it came to me : either all of you are the product of one mind, clever, manipulative and purposely vague, or I don't exist.
Wait.
That's not it.
OK/
I don't think any of you are real except for myself and whoever is writing all of your brilliantly dull replies, (sometimes brilliant replies but those are rare you would have to admit.) and I think I am in danger because I have discovered this fraud.
I also think the writer of all these characters: McGentrix, Brand X, Foxy, Blatham, nimh etc is Steve Martin. There, I've said it. Steve, stop it, go back to trying to be funny, though I think the characters from both Florida and Australia are funny and I love that you can pretend to be Misty and Eva (though Eva supposed to be in some godforsaken cow-town in Oklakansas, Iowa or somewhere.) and the rabbit girl and the little sweet Jespah at the same time. How you ever came up with Occam Bill and Bipolar Bear and squinny is beyond me, but congrats anyway. What tipped me off was Gus, he was too funny, too genius too Martinesque if you will, so stop it will you, and let some of the humans have a chance.
I think that Margo and Montana may be real people, but I know that that guy Timber whatsis and the painter-guy-buddist are right out of that script you tried to sell me twenty years ago. Yeah-huh!
And Craven?? Hey, tell your agent to get away from the keyboard, kay?
Anyway, I've enjoyed it and now I insist that any and all of the "members" prove they exist by offering some tidbits of reality, some concrete fact filled proofs that they are not some fig newton of some writer's drug-infested synapses.
Nightie nite.
Joe
stop trying to analyze Joe, sometimes you have to just let art flow over you....
So, listen, Joe (er, is your name Joe?), what kind of specific proof or proofs would be satisfactory to allay your burgeoning accumulation of doubts?
Perhaps some FedExed Pacco hairs?
Nighty Night Joe- Oh, by the way. We're gonna move you over to Original Writing. You don't mind do you?
A2K
Steve Martin invades A2K
Joe, I mean . . . Steve, get over yourself already! Sure you're a delightful entertainer, but your book, shopgirl, really stinks. Here's a concept for you: Dialogue. Try it.
It's nice of you to stop by and use A2K to hone your writing skills through the personification your different characters. Hopefully, your experience here will improve your next writing project.
there's a sucker born every minute. (you just happened to come along at the right time)
Me? Could Setanta imagine someone like me? Not in his wildest wildest dreams. That's all I'm allowed to say, until you show me your certificate of clearance.
Hmmm - I can vouch for me, Margo, Olga, Beth, Craven, LennyBruce and a few otheres - unless Steve is FABULOUS with voices....
If you accept that I exist (Pacco, come here a minute...) I can vouch for Piffka and Kara and Roberta and Dys and Diane and Lola and PDiddie and Jjorge and CI and Blatham and Lightwizard and Peace and Love and Seattlefriend. And Tartarin. And Joe Harris. And Glitterbag. Nobody, but nobody, could imitate Dys' voice or Kara's voice. Oh, and I suspect Mr. Nobody is quite real. I know he is. Craven, on the other hand, is too good to be true.
Do I really need to prove that I exist Joe ??
None of us exist Joe, not even you.
But seriously, Joe, let me put it to you like this. You have found the loose end of a piece of thread. If you keep pulling at it, perhaps you will manage to watch something unravel. But are you ready to discover how much unravels, or do you think maybe you should just ignore that loose end and move on? Once you see what lies beyond, there will be no going back. A2K is real and we are real. May I respectfully that suggest that you'll be happier if you don't pursue this any farther.
Now see, I think these are all things that Steve Martin would say.
Except for Asherman's, that's too deep, unless Steve went to Jesuit School.
I really like the way he used the Brandon persona to urge me to stop.
For those of you who are claiming to have actually met some of the people here, I have two words for you: makeup and changes.
In the case of Gautam, a lot of makeup.
Steve Martin is a master at these things, did you ever see his, oh wait, that was Dustin Hoffman. Anyway, I think Shopgirl stunk because he was spending too much time here pretending to be Kickycan or Walter.
Anyway, don't get me wrong, Steve, I enjoy the illusion of being with different people very much, it's just that now when I post something I'll know that it's appearing on your screen in Malibu.
ehbeth: I'm pretty sure Setanta is a couple of graduate students from Pepperdine University who allow Steve to crib their notes. Sorry, no dice.
Osso wants to know what kind of proof I need : okay, try this. Say something about your life that is unique, that no one, not even Steve Martin could say.
Joe (wait, let me check, yes,,, it's me.) Nation
No amount of makeup can tun Steve into me. I am far too beautiful than him (even without putting on makeup myself)
Joe you might have a point, but you forgot the most telling evidence, JLNOBODY, he's nobody and he's telling us, how brazen! how OBVIOUS! But Steve compensated with Asherman, hence the avatar with a picture of a real person, and he paints well, hmmmm, quite convincing I must say.
I'm still suspicous though.
Are you sure it's Steve and not Phylis Diller. She was quite clever. She told people her parents used to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
She could pull this off.
Asherman is quite right Joe, not that it really matters, because you are going to wake up to a whole new existence tomorrow with no recollection of this conversation transpiring, because it didn't. Good luck on the journey. It's all about you.
The avatar for the edgarblythe persona is actually a bust of Victor Hugo.
I not only exist--I perpetuate myself.
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