(I don't know if I did this quote right, hopefully I did)
If you say something he doesn't understand, he gets up you, and then you try to explain things from a different perspective - and he still doesn't understand what you are saying...it's quite possible that he will conclude that you are trying to manipulate him.
I think you just explained everything, right there. I'll take your advice, I'll talk to him like you said. Sticking to a similar explanation every time I talk to him about this.
As for his parenting, his Dad (My Grandfather) was very strict. At least from what my Mom has told me, as well as my aunts/uncles.
As for his values and beliefs, he is very traditional. He is a Christian, but he's not overly religious, like my Mom is.
I would describe him as analytical. he knows how to solve problems, albeit with family/relationships, not so much.
We have these random spots where he understands what I'm saying, and we get along perfectly for a couple of days. Then something will happen at work, or home. The most recent of which being my Mom scammed out of a deal, which I talked about previously. After these events, he tightens up his control, likely as a result of stress. Another thing which happened recently, is my Mom having to get surgery on her shoulder. She's been bedridden (..Chair-ridden?) for a week or so.