Elaine to Jerry: Fake fake fake fake fake.
I can't take it any more! She's drivin' me crazy. I can't sleep, I can't leave the house. When I'm here I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile I'm datin' a virgin, I'm in this contest... something's gotta give!
(inhaling cigarette)
"Exxxcellent!"
(evil laugh)
oh god! that "fake' episode was excruciating - I felt for poor Jerry sooooooooooooo much!
Qustion is, what happened when they had sex to save the friendship? Did she, or didn't she?
So what is it about Seinfeld? One of my favorite bits of all is George in his motorized wheel chair, trying to get away down city streets, pursued by seniors in their motorized wheelchairs. Every time I see this, I crack up. That and Elaine sitting at that party on Long Island, bored to tears, with my absolutely favorite line - again - "the dingo ate the baby."
"Oohhhh . How I've longed for this moment Seinfeld . The day when I would have the proof I needed to hall you out of your cushy lair and expose to the light of justice as the monster that you are . A monster so vile ....."
My favorite might be the The Library, with the library detective, Bookman, hunting down Jerry after 25 years for not returning Tropic of Cancer, and wedgies and Cantstandya.
"I don't judge a man by the length of his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my bag. But you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public Library, fella."
- Lt. Bookman, in "The Library"
"The library investigator's name is actually Bookman?"
"It's true."
"That's amazing. That's like an ice cream man named Cone."
- Kramer
"She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."
- Kramer
"Instead of saying 'Costanza', he'd say 'Cantstandya, Cantstandya'." - George, remembering his high school gym coach, in "The Library"
"Why do they call it a wedgie?"
"Because the underwear is pulled up from the back until... it wedges in."
"They also have an Atomic Wedgie. Now the goal there is to actually get the waistband on top of the head. It's very rare."
"Boys are sick."
"What do girls do?"
"We just tease someone until they develop an eating disorder."
- Elaine, George and Jerry, in "The Library"
It's killer, Jerry. Killer
Jerry, I think it moved!!
He took - it - out.
Took what out?
He took -it-out.
O-oh
I just saw Joe Dimaggio at Dinky Donuts.
Jerry Sienfeld is a very nice man
_________________________
Jerry Sienfeld is a very bad man
India - Don't go to the bathroom there.
I'm better with the mothers than I am with the daughters.
Maybe you should date the mothers.
If I could talk to the mothers and have sex with the daughters, then I'd really have something going.
