Ok, so Barney's is having this huge sale. I try this dress on. Stunning. Stunning. I couldn't take my eyes off myself.
Yeah.
Ok, so then I put it on at home. It looks like I'm carrying twins.
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Wait a minute. Skinny mirrors.
"You tell anybody anything and I will carve my initials in your brain dish. I'll bash your skull into a vegematic like a bad cabbage, and I'll have a party on your head. I'll pluck all your body hairs out with my teeth."
If I didn't put that floss in my pocket, I'd be crawling around her bedroom right now looking for my glasses.
"Oh my god. An affair. It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money."
"I'm gonna sew your ass to your face."
These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!!
This yogurt is so ----ing good.
"Apparently I was unable to break up beyond a reasonable doubt."
LET's NOT GET CRAZY HERE!!!!
"She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Kramer."
<Jerry singing along with the TV>"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round . . ."
<Kramer singing> "The woman across the street has nothing on, nothing on . . ."
Jerry: I think he converted to Judaism for the jokes
Father: And this offends you as a Jew?
Jerry: No, this offends me as a comedian!
hahaha - just saw the "Kenny Roger's Roasters" episode last night where Kramer's apartment is lit up by the restaurant's neon red sign. Jerry begins to turn into a Kramer clone after they switch apartments.
Kramer: You look a little stressed...
Jerry: Oh, I'm stressed.
A little bit of Seinfeld trivia:
What person, (not a "Seinfeld" regular cast member), is featured in every single episode of "Seinfeld"?
-- Superman, either by name or in pictures on Jerry's refrigerator.
George's dad fighting with Elaine when bailing George out of jail....
Do you want a piece of me?!!
(I saw a "behind the scenes" about that show and Elaine cracked up numerous times before they could get the shot, Jerry Stiller kept a straight face every time.)
