"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!"
Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off of your neighbors and have sex without dating; that's a fantasy camp.
"Hey! I thought you weren't coming back 'til Monday!?"
"Well, the camp ended a few days early."
"Why?"
"Well, there was an incident."
"What happened?"
"I punched Mickey Mantle in the mouth."
"What!?"
"Yeah, I punched him and they took him to the hospital and then they cancelled the rest of the week."
"You punched *who* in the mouth?"
"Mickey Mantle."
J: Oh yeah, like you know what you're talking about.
G: Like you do.
J: Well what do you think? They put the statue on a giant raft and a tugboat pulled it all the way from France?
G: What do you think? They brought it over in pieces and screwed it together like a coffee table?
Why did France give that to us anyway?
J: It was a gift.
G: So countries just exchange gifts like that?
J: If they like each other.
Watched four Seinfeld re-runs tonight on three different channels, and laughed again at all of them.
Watched George's mad rush down the street in a motorized wheel chair, pursued by angry seniors in their chairs. Watched Bette Midler get brained in the baseball game.
This is almost all I need - plus Judge Judy.
Ah! Rochelle Rochelle, the Musical
He thinks he's better than him.
He thinks he's better than him?
He thinks he's better than all three of us.
Kramer, to Jerry:
"You know what woman I always thought you looked like? Lena Horne."
Did you notice that she handed the big salad to Elaine?
Yeah, so?
Well, she didn't buy the big salad. I bought the big salad.
Is that a fact?
Yes it is. She just took credit for my salad.
"We're living in a society!!"
George to Jerry:
Button fly! Why do they put buttons on a fly? It takes ten minutes to get these things open.
I like the button fly.
What?
That is one place on my wardrobe I do not need sharp interlocking metal teeth. It's like a mink trap down there.
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me."
George: I'm never gonna have a child. If I lose this Frogger high score that's it for me.
"It was like my own personal Crying Game."
"These kids called me a Mary."
"You know, kids can be very perceptive."
It was Jerry. Jerry told me no. I'm the creative guy. He handles the business end.
You said it was insulting.
I was quoting him. Why would I be insulted? I'm never insulted. You could call me baldy, dump soup on my head. Nothing insults me.
"When you're on a stakeout, do you find it's better to stand up against the wall, or kinda crouch down behind a big plant?"
"I said 'God bless you.' Was that so wrong?"
"The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his 'God bless you,' because as the husband he has the right to first refusal."
"Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this. Once he passes on that option, that 'God bless you' is up for grabs."
"No argument. Unless she's one of these multiple sneezers and he's holding his 'God bless you' in abeyance until she completes the series."
