no sex drive

Are you on any medication (you don't really need to answer)? Some types of medication can lower the sex drive. My wife, who is on birth control, had a huge sex drive when we first met. Then she changed brands (due to insurance stuff) and it went away. Then recently she changed again when Orth Lite came out and low and behold...increased sex drive again.

I agree with JP that medications can have an effect on sex drive, so that could be the issue. But if not, you may just have to
face facts that your sex drive and your husbands are on opposite ends of the spectrum. This has been the case with my wife and I. We have been married for 22 years and early on we had a few disagreements over sex. Her sex drive was almost non-existent while mine was on overdrive. So how did we last? Easy. We each gave a little.

I think couples get too caught up (especially young couples) over how often they have sex. My wife and I knew we loved each other for more than just the sex. Because of this, I was willing to accept less sex and she was willing to work at having a bit more. I appreciated her for it because I know there were times we made love that she really did not much feel like it, but she did so to please me.

One other thing I found out. As we came to a happy medium, our love life slowly improved. She found herself having orgasms more often because I was more attentive during our lovemaking (more from wanting our lovemaking to last than anything else I think ) This in turn gave her a greater desire for sex on a more regular basis. And voila!, now it has been 22 years and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

So, the point of my novel here is to work together and come up with a happy medium. Just show him you want to satisfy him and make him happy. Oh, one last thing my wife found that may also ease things for you. There were times she did not feel like having intercourse, but knowing I did, she would take the time to give me a wonderful hand job. We both went to bed happy!! :wink:

It might be worth a shot. My wife mentioned that the lost of appetite happened to a couple of her friends also after switching birth control.

I've always said, "what good is birth control if you don't put it to use?"

Hope this helps Swestover. Good luck, have fun and welcome to a2k.

Hey, when you have love, a lot of things can be overcome. You just keep trying. It seems you have an understanding husband, so you just keep working at it. Gosh, now I think I will call my wife and remind her how much I love her.

And if it isn't birth control, there are other possible reasons - keep checking with your doctor if that's not the answer.

And, to echo jpinMilwaukee, welcome to A2K! :-D

Sex drive is affected by a lot of factors. Stress, depression and fatigue are just a few. Have you talked to your husband about it? Raising children is difficult. Chances are there isn't something wrong with you. You are probably just in a down cycle. Good luck!

My doctor does not seem concerned he said it can be a side affect and that i have to live with it if i want to be on bc. how do you know for sure it is the bc though? could something else be wrong?

jespah wrote:

And if it isn't birth control, there are other possible reasons - keep checking with your doctor if that's not the answer.

And, to echo jpinMilwaukee, welcome to A2K! :-D

swestover wrote:

My doctor does not seem concerned he said it can be a side affect and that i have to live with it if i want to be on bc. how do you know for sure it is the bc though? could something else be wrong?

jespah wrote:

And if it isn't birth control, there are other possible reasons - keep checking with your doctor if that's not the answer.

And, to echo jpinMilwaukee, welcome to A2K! :-D

If your doctor is unconcerned, find another doctor. There are dozens of different types of birth control pills out there. You don't have to just "live with" side effects from any of them. Not listening to your very legitimate concern is, to my mind, a sign that your doctor is being insensitive to your needs.

Do you feel "touched out" sometimes? I ask because of the combination of not really wanting to get things going, but being fine once they do, and the fact that you have four kids, the youngest only 3. I'm a stay-at-home mom and I definitely have to consciously do a shift after a day of having my 3.75 yr old hanging on me all day. My initial reaction unless I think about it is to want my space. I think that's very natural if you have young children, especially if you spend a lot of time with them.

jespah wrote:

swestover wrote:

My doctor does not seem concerned he said it can be a side affect and that i have to live with it if i want to be on bc. how do you know for sure it is the bc though? could something else be wrong?

jespah wrote:

And if it isn't birth control, there are other possible reasons - keep checking with your doctor if that's not the answer.

And, to echo jpinMilwaukee, welcome to A2K! :-D

If your doctor is unconcerned, find another doctor. There are dozens of different types of birth control pills out there. You don't have to just "live with" side effects from any of them. Not listening to your very legitimate concern is, to my mind, a sign that your doctor is being insensitive to your needs.

Now it is my turn to echo what jespah said. Find a different doctor or at least get a second opinion.

Good luck. Hope everything works out for you.