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Is my struggle a turn off for him

 
 
Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2016 08:48 am
I am interested in how guys see a girl who is struggling to put her life in order. Here is some background. I am a 30 year old girl. The guy I am seeing is 29. He has a nice job, comes from a somewhat wealthy family and his life is pretty interesting (vacations, events, socializing). On the other hand, I did graduate from college but my BA from Europe is pretty much useless in the States. So I decided to go back to school and it is not easy. I am a full time student and have a full time job and I am strugglig a lot. By th time I graduate with assosiate in nursing I will be 33, and BA 34. I would love to eventually become PA but cant even think about it right now. In meantime I want to have family too.
So my question is: would a girl who in her 30s hasn't even start a career, be a turn off for you? I am afraid my guy will eventually realize he needs someone who is more on the same level with him.
 
Count of Banterbury
 
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Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2016 08:59 am
@Lola2609,
well, considering your present situation I would use one word for it: respect!

But this is MY opinion and if you need to predict opinion of your guy, go and ask him! Everybody is different and has different needs. Maybe he will like girl who is fighting for her dreams, maybe he needs somebody who already is there. Impossible to tell...

hopefully you will find more inspiration here. All I can say is when I see girl who is trying really hard, hard working and ambitious I feel a lot of compassion or even admiration for her.
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Lola2609
 
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Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2016 01:30 pm
Anyone else?
ossobuco
 
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Reply Tue 1 Mar, 2016 01:36 pm
@Lola2609,
Wait a while for more responses; people are at work or busy. You just posted a few hours ago.

From me, who worked and went to school full time twice decades apart, it is hard at the time, but if some guy isn't interested in you because of that, he's a dunce.
Count of Banterbury
 
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Reply Wed 2 Mar, 2016 09:16 am
@ossobuco,
I would not be so quickly judgmental about the guy.

Lola2609 is right to worry - having a full time job and study at the same time means a lot of stress and minimal personal time which might severely influence relationship. Maybe the guy likes her, but if they have very little fr themselves the guy might go for another good and pretty girl with whom can be simply more often and enjoy life more. Particularly at this age where there are no kids and maximum freedom.

Lola2609, I'd be hones with him. I think he deserves this if you really like him. It's better to know you are tensed/stressed/have no time because school and job rather than wondering "why is she postponing dates and why she looks so tensed? Is there something wrong with our relationship? Am I doing smt. bad" - I think this might be very natural reaction.

does it make sense?
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