Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 08:17 pm
I had two friends over for an informal dinner last night, one of them is a newer friend. He arrived in a hoodie with the hood on, and kept it on all evening even after I asked him to take it off. He is 23 and I'm 60, it's obviously a generational thing, but it really annoyed me. Am I justified in feeling the way I do?


 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 08:46 pm
@salsaman,
It's an informal dinner and you asked him to take it off? Maybe he had his own reasons or maybe he was offended.

I'm a 70+ year old woman and have a couple of hoodies. If I ever wear them in my place, it is because I am cold.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 08:57 pm
My husband is 69 and he wears a hoodie when he's cold, and will gladly eat a meal at home or in a restaurant while wearing it.
I like how he looks in it, especially when he's also reading the menu in his dollar store hipster type reading glasses.






chai2
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 09:01 pm
@chai2,
Holy crap is this a cool hoodie or what?

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--oghr5JE3--/17pkkwfe6h1iajpg.jpg
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  5  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 10:25 pm
@salsaman,
Totally justified. I'm 36 (though 103 in spirit) and that's some bullshit. It's not generational. People have been respecting hosts who serve them dinner for many, many generations.

Next time you seem him NOT wearing a hood, use a little reverse psychology. Tell him he looks better in a hood, as it covers his misshapen, disrespecting-ass head.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Wed 24 Feb, 2016 10:50 pm
@Gargamel,
snorts
0 Replies
 
Setanta
 
  4  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 04:26 am
It has always been good manners to uncover--take off one's head gear--when one is under cover--under a roof--and in the presence of a lady. Apart from that, as has been mentioned, it's simple courtesy to one's host. This guy is a total mope, don't invite him back. Problem solved.
farmerman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 04:30 am
@Setanta,
I have my favorite Massey Ferguson baseball cap that I wear for ,many occasions. It always opens a dsicussion.
Its a black cap with a large MF in gold block san serif letters
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 05:37 am
I agree with Setanta - uncover your head indoors when with other people as a man. Exeption when you are Jewish.
Women used to cover their head in church. Do not have to do it anymore - some exeptions.
Schools try to teach kids not to use the hoodie during school hours. You should avoid it walking into a bank and other places of security reason.
Wearing a hoodie as a guest or a host is bad behavior.
Wearing a hoodie makes it a bit more difficult to make conversation as you cannot see the person next to you so well.
Maybe this is the reason to wear a hoodie during dinner. No conversation to the left or the right - stare straight ahead and gulp down the food.
With a baseball cap you can still see to the left and the right.
Remember the days when men took off their hat and bowed when a funeral herse passed?
Now joggers just push aside mourners going into the church. Their running is more important than the feelings of others.

0 Replies
 
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 05:41 am
@Setanta,
Agreed.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 11:03 am
Wait a minute. I didn't picture the guy wearing the hood up on his head, just wearing a hoodie. Wearing it like a sweater.

That's a horse of a different color.

If he had the hood up over the his, that's plain wrong.

He's probably a pimp or a drug dealer, or both.

Or worse, a Trump support.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 11:33 am
@salsaman,
salsaman wrote:
He arrived in a hoodie with the hood on, and kept it on all evening even after I asked him to take it off. He is 23 and I'm 60, it's obviously a generational thing, but it really annoyed me.


hoodie? fine
hood up through a meal? not so fine

asking a guest to change how they are dressed? questionable
not responding to host request re wardrobe? acceptable

generational? no. rudeness is cross-generational

__

it's pretty simple. don't invite him back if it really upset you.

__

was your hoodie-wearing guest comfortable while visiting you? made conversation etc? if I had someone in my house staying covered up like this, I'd wonder if they were a bit nervous and the hoodie up was a keep control/stay comfortable in the situation thing. I'd guess a 23 y.o. might feel uneasy as the dinner guest of a 60 y.o. My instinct would be to try and make them comfortable while visiting, see if they naturally removed the hood from their head.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Feb, 2016 03:40 pm
It is proper etiquette to remove a hat, cap or in this case a hoodie when having dinner.

In addition out of respect to someone a bit older than himself and out of respect in being a guest in your house (assuming you asked him nicely) he should have removed the hoodie. If there was some particular reason he needed it on he should have explained it politely.
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Feb, 2016 02:53 pm
Often people - especially young ones - who insist on wearing hoodies with the hood up all the time have some kind of personality disorder, or could be on the spectrum, or (most likely) are just what in Britain we call "knobs". Crashingly bad manners to keep the hood up when a guest at someone's dinner table.


tsarstepan
 
  2  
Reply Fri 26 Feb, 2016 03:19 pm
@salsaman,
Not sure why no one has addressed this issue, but do you really know what constitutes an informal dinner? If it was a formal dinner with some kind of dress code, then you might have a better stance.

Maybe he's on the autistic spectrum and wasn't aware of conventional dinner etiquette.

You invited him over. You probably already are aware of his social eccentricities (and how to address him to let him know your feelings toward his dress-behavior).

For me? As long as he's affable, cordial, and social during the dinner, that would be fine with me ... no matter if the hoodie was up or down. Next time, give him a dress code if it bothers you that much.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Feb, 2016 07:39 pm
The first thing I thought was that it is rude of a host to tell someone what to wear/ how to comport himself re headwear at your dinner.

Your job as host is to make guests comfortable.

If you don't like someone's habits, never invite them back, but at least you weren't an asshole.

Only, you were.
Lordyaswas
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Feb, 2016 02:21 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
"or (most likely) are just what in Britain we call "knobs". Crashingly bad manners to keep the hood up when a guest at someone's dinner table."


Couldn't agree more.

Hats/headware off indoors, unless there is a religious or medical reason.

Anyone who sits at someone else's table, formal or informal, with a hood up, is an ignorant twat and should be treated as such, please or offend.

It is they who are greatly offending by their rudeness in the first place, and I would simply be responding to that rudeness.

If they took offence to me reacting adversely to their rudeness to me as host, then they may decide never to visit my table again.

Win win.
0 Replies
 
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Feb, 2016 02:39 am
@Lash,
Quote:
The first thing I thought was that it is rude of a host to tell someone what to wear/ how to comport himself re headwear at your dinner.

In most English speaking cultures, the duty of a guest to respect their host is the greater. Expressions like "When you are under my roof", "When you are at my table" etc reflect this.
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Feb, 2016 03:14 am
@Tes yeux noirs,
Also in Scandinavia.
I refused to let a friend get into our house with wooden floors with her golfshoes on. She refused to take them off. As a compromise we sat in the garden.
Tes yeux noirs
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Feb, 2016 04:34 am
@saab,
Quote:
I refused to let a friend get into our house with wooden floors with her golfshoes on. She refused to take them off. As a compromise we sat in the garden.

You were more tolerant than I would be. Our visitors must take off their shoes because in our house we have light coloured carpet; refusal to do this might lead to them not being allowed in. Also no smoking is allowed in the house, and nobody staying here can cook meat or fish.
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Hoodie or not?
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 03/08/2021 at 01:00:01