Hoodie or not?

In our summercabin I forbid people to take off their shoes - depending on weather.
What happened was that people took off their shoes, put them in the middle of the doorway and as I did not expect anything there and many times almost fell down the stairs.
Then they walk straight over to the terrace go out on the lawn because it is so wonderful and come in with their now dirty feet - no socks in the summer.
I can´t stand looking at peoples dirty feet during dinner or lunch time.

Everyone has different likes and dislikes, but basic manners and etiquette are pretty much the same up and down the country (UK).

It's all about what should be safeguarded as basic standards of behaviour, I suppose.
Start eroding that and how far and fast will it slide?

Farting at the table? Picking one's nose and eating it whilst others are having dessert? Smoking without asking? Texting? Facebooking? Answering one's phone constantly and carrying on a prolonged, loud trivial conversation?

I think when the host makes a guest uncomfortable, the host is wrong.

When a guest shows some small rudeness, like wearing a hoodie, he's a litte incorrect, but not as boorish as a host who chastises a guest over headwear. Drawing negative attention to a guest at a dinner party like he's a child in front of everyone is far worse than the dude sitting quietly minding his own business at a table.

Small infringement on hoodie wearer.
Pretty mammoth infringement on host calling him out.

Those "when you are under my roof" people are insufferable and will likely soon be under that roof forever alone with no visitors.

Good grief! Golf shoes do great damage. This is quite a different issue.

All of these issues seem completely removed from the hoodie man.

I think you are wrong. We must agree to differ. If you came to my house e.g. as my daughter's new boyfriend, and you refused to put down your hoodie, I would thrust you out of the house forcibly.


Nonsense. The larger infringement is committed by the rude guest. Politeness obligations of guests outweigh those of hosts. The host has done the guest a great courtesy by simply inviting them into his home. This must be reciprocated.

I can see you obviously have great relationships with your daughters, and invitations to your dinner parties are highly sought.

Hope that's all working well for you.

Assault for hoodie wearing seems like you may have anger issues.

Man, those hot flashes must hell, huh?

If a person did not have the nowse to know that wearing a hood up at table as a guest in someone else's house was bang out of order, then he has either been brought up badly and needs putting right, or is as thick as pig **** and needs putting right.

Either way, behavioural bad manners and outright rudeness lies with the offender and not with the host.


I will also point out that there is very possibly a large cultural difference between the UK and the USA and possibly Canada regarding the wearing of hoodies with the hood up.

It is very much the case that over here, apart from when it is extremely cold weather, the wearing of a hood up hoodie on a normal day, or inside a shop, etc., is in most people's minds the street uniform of someone who is up to no good.
The first impression is of someone who finds it the norm to hide his identity from authority.
These lads (and it is invarioubly lads) tend to hang around in groups and have no respect for the law.

The hoodie, over here, has been regarded as part of a street thug's "uniform" for years.
In the UK, this is the default position with a great number of people regarding this item of clothing.



I tend to think, from reading similar threads here in the past, that over the pond you see a hoodie as just another item of clothing. Maybe this accounts for some of the difference in strength of reaction between us on the matter.

To highlight this, here is the very first result from my google search for "hoodie ban uk".
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/39622/Ban-the-hood-for-good


And more.....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2509467/Gang-members-banned-wearing-hoodies-owning-pay-phones-new-crackdown.html

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2011/aug/09/power-of-the-hoodie

A snippet from the Guardian link (left leaning newspaper, and by far the most liberal)......

"The hoodie was everywhere during the UK riots. But how did a comfy, utilitarian item of clothing become the ultimate symbol of exclusion and menace?"

Feared, derided, misunderstood and still resolutely un-hugged, the utilitarian, hugely popular sportswear garment, the hoodie, has staged a comeback against a backdrop of pyromania and rioting. Worn by millions every day: a generation's default wardrobe choice was transformed into an instant criminal cloak for London's looting youth. It may be more newsworthy now, but the hoodie and the folk devil it represents have been with us for a long time.

In 2007 I reported from the riots that set the Parisian banlieue suburbs alight, and interviewed teenagers who had been involved with or close to the events. Most of them wore hoodies, along with the other staples of the 21st-century, hip-hop redux wardrobe – tracksuit bottoms or voluminous jeans, expensive trainers, baseball caps, black Thinsulate gloves and the occasional bandana.

A year or so later, I met youths involved in gangs around the time of the London murders of teenagers Billy Cox, James Andre Smart-Fordd and Michael Dosunmu. These two groups may have been separated by the English channel, but the uniform was identical, and the hoodie was as ubiquitous as the two-piece suit in the financial centres of Paris and London.

Whether or not David Cameron ever spoke his infamous "hug a hoodie" words, let alone made good on his views, it's true that the hoodie was a political symbol long before it became a policy initiative. All clothing is political in the sense that it communicates a message about how the wearer wishes to be perceived, and face coverings and headgear can be particularly charged: the use of balaclavas by sectarian paramilitaries, bandanas worn across the face, or caps worn low to disguise the eyes, represent a seizing of anonymity and a self-exemption from public identification.......etc.

I really think mentions of hot flashes are beyond the pale among personal attacks just because you don't agree with a posted opinion about manners of all things.

Even though Tes yeux noirs admits to assault over hoodie wearing is no reason to get so personal with her. Do you really have that much at stake over the outcome of this question?

Rarely will her hot flashes compel physical violence... I hope.

There was a child murdered here not long ago and for the primary reason you mention. He had his hoodie on.

Considered a "thug" based on nothing more than that.

Guess Trayvon would have no place at your table.

Maybe I'm a bit sensitive about judgments made about people who choose to wear hoodies.

BTW Snood. You were right about me. I am at odds with this entire thread and it had nothing to do with Hillary.

I obviously have a severe personality flaw.

No. You're just a knob.

speak for yourself

you do not speak for "most English speaking cultures"

Lash was correct.

It is rude for a host to tell guests what to wear (if the clothing item will not damage their home). I noted it in my original response - though I referred to it as questionable - trying to be somewhat polite about my response.

Good lord. You tell guests what they can/can't cook? That would be considered beyond rude here.

Footwear in the house is very regional. I've been in a few threads on a few different sites about that. Very very regional. It can differ by county.

but yes, looks like most anyone would be more tolerant with guests than you appear to be

We are a vegetarian couple, and any utensils used for cooking meat or fish would need very thorough cleaning, if not disposal. Not to mention the smell. We are not running a hotel; our guests eat what we cook, with us.

I will concede this. However if guests in my home do anything I do not want to happen, I will deal with them. I would berate and/or eject anyone who was racist, sexist, or who supported UKIP or spoke approvingly of Donald Trump, fox hunting, guns, etc as well as those refusing to remove a hoodie. However these are severely hypothetical situations since I don't actually know anyone like that.

That you are vegetarians was rather clear when you told that people cannot cook meat and fish in your kitchen. On the other hand most people do not cook
in other peoples kitchen.