How do i get some closure? how can i ask for closure in a nice way?

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I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about a month ago. I want to move on and I dont know how to. part of me still want him back but part of me doesn't want to. I told him the reason why i broke up with him but he never told me how he feels about the break up and just stay silence. so now i feel like I'm the one who's been dump and it drives me nuts. I texted him two days ago asking how he was doing (well because a family member passed away) and today he responded "different, very different, how are you? I still care about him and wants the best for him but i can't seem to let it go I feel like I need type of closure. I miss him being part of my life when we both going through stuffs. I dont want him back. but i can't seem to let it go. how do i get some closure? How do i get some closure? how can i ask for closure in a nice way? I know thats the only way ill be able to move on because thats how i was able to move on from my other relationship.

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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 1,326 • Replies: 12

@Uniquepisces,

It is not reasonable or fair for you to ask someone who you have broken up with for "closure". Closure is your responsibility, not his. You have no right to ask him for it.

You have to move on and figure out your own life. Leave this poor guy alone.

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"I dont want him back. but i can't seem to let it go"

You are not going to get closure - and that's probably the problem. He sounds like he's an emotionally immature or unavailable guy. So he really CAN'T express what happened. Instead he sits there like a little puppy.

What you feel is anger towards him, but you are not willing to express that. You deserved better than that! What a jerk for not seeing that.

Consider the thought that you may have dodged a bullet. There's nothing worse than being involved with a closed off person. Love is never enough.

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@maxdancona,

Exactly.

You're the one who wants closure.

Let me tell you from experience, closure is not all it's cracked up to be, if you expect it to be this magic wand that will "poof" make everything all right.

The best way to stop thinking about something is to get involved and busy with doing something else.

Chi dara fine al gran dolore? L'ore.

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@chai2,

Also, your comment that "now you feel like you're the one being dumped" is stupendously misplaced.

Stop making it someone else's problem.

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@Uniquepisces,

Uniquepisces wrote:

I broke up with my boyfriend

there you go.

that is the end of the story.

you broke up with him.

now leave him alone.

don't expect anything of him. he doesn't owe you anything further.

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@PUNKEY,

PUNKEY wrote:

He sounds like he's an emotionally immature or unavailable guy. So he really CAN'T express what happened. Instead he sits there like a little puppy.

What you feel is anger towards him, but you are not willing to express that. You deserved better than that! What a jerk for not seeing that.

Consider the thought that you may have dodged a bullet. There's nothing worse than being involved with a closed off person. Love is never enough.

How does it make Him the immature one if after a breakup, he goes his own way?
He never tried to contact her. They broke up, he moved on.

That doesn't make him immature, a jerk, closed off or anything.

1 Reply

@chai2,

Quote:

He never tried to contact her. They broke up, he moved on.

He's the sensible one, if you ask me. And he is a lucky guy also.

0 Replies

I'm gonna start using this image so everyone can get closure if they want it.

http://previews.123rf.com/images/kaarsten/kaarsten1101/kaarsten110100005/8565003-Stylized-red-stamp-showing-the-term-closure-All-on-white-background--Stock-Photo.jpg

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@chai2,

Quote:

Let me tell you from experience, closure is not all it's cracked up to be, if you expect it to be this magic wand that will "poof" make everything all right.

A lot of people seem to think that life is like a TV series, consisting of 'episodes' and they can't believe that something is finished unless they experience the equivalent of credits rolling and theme music.

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@Uniquepisces,

Quote:

I told him the reason why i broke up with him but he never told me how he feels about the break up and just stay silence. so now i feel like I'm the one who's been dump and it drives me nuts.

This is a power play. She wants to know that she won the breakup, and that he lost. The only way to make this happen is for him to feel worse about the break up than she does. She needs some way to confirm this so she can be sure she is better than he is.

Sounds reasonable to me...

0 Replies

@Uniquepisces,

this isn't even a unique question on your part

http://able2know.org/topic/308281-1#post-6107028

glitter got it right the first time round

0 Replies

mmm, cloture:
from wiki -
Cloture

Cloture (/ˈkloʊtʃər/ kloh-chər) is a motion or process in parliamentary procedure aimed at bringing debate to a quick end. It is also called closure or, informally, a guillotine.[1] The cloture procedure originated in the French National Assembly, from which the name is taken. Clôture is French for "ending" or "conclusion". It was introduced into the Parliament of the United Kingdom by William Ewart Gladstone to overcome the obstruction of the Irish nationalist party and was made permanent in 1887. It was subsequently adopted by the United States Senate and other legislatures.

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How do i get some closure? how can i ask for closure in a nice way?

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