Should I bite the bullet, wish for the best and marry him? Or Walk away?

You are under no obligation to save him or fix him.

I know I am not obligated to save him... But at this point marrying him is the only way I can be with him... its the only way he can move to my city and not be a financial burden to me. . Otherwise the distance is going to kill everything and our relationship will go nowhere.. It will inevitably end... It would be a shame to end (a good/working) relationship over some stupid legal crap... That's the only thing keeping us apart really so you see, I'm stuck between a hard and a hard place. And I don't know what to do. But obviously a decision needs to be made.

There will be other guys.

You don't sound too head over heels. This doesn't seem to be about your happiness, but about his convenience and happiness.

Do not subsume yourself for this.

PS He has other pathways to citizenship.

Well, you have a daughter you need to be concerned with primarily. His green card lapsed and what would prevent him from renewing it? Is he currently illegally in the United States? You said he's several hours away from you - by plane or car?

You are emotionally involved and it's hard to make rational decisions then, but marrying him is a definite NO in my book. You only have known each other for a few months, how many times have you actually seen him and spent time with him?

Besides that: even if you marry him he won't be able to enter the United States until he has his new application granted and this can take anywhere from 3 months to a year, depending on many factors. Should you go this route however, he'll get a green card for 2 years only and has to apply again for an extension after that which means you have to be married at least for three to four years in order to have him stay permanently. Immigration is not that easy these days and you'll face quite a few obstacles including attorney fees and application fees.

He needs to sort our his citizenship matter without your involvement.

Once he's done that, you can decide where the relationship goes.

Have you ever lived in the same city? I don't recommend making a relationship decision with someone you've only ever been long distance with - especially after such a short period of time.

nope

that is not the only solution

if he wants to be with you, he should be getting busy sorting out his status

(Sorry for the long response in Advance) Well when he was 10 years old his father abandoned him and his mother along with his baby sister back in their country.. It was his mothers hope To provide a better life for him and his sister. so his mother had to make the difficult decision to leave their country. His grandmother was living in the states at the time and was trying to help. The grandmother arranged a marriage for his mother with a man she knew. After his grandmother had claimed them (meaning they came into the states LEGALLY). They all had visas.

Once they arrived my boyfriends mother married this man. They all got their green cards. During the process The guy started asking for A lOT of money from his mother, money she did not have (which this man knew from the start). The man became a huge pain in the ass. His mother managed to gather some money by asking some family members for favors. She would periodically give him money but this man just wanted more and more. The last time she gave him money She ended up giving him $8,000 and the man disappeared. And Has been no where to be found since.

She ended up having to get the marriage Annulled. Which only bought them a few years with their green cards. Mind you my bf and his sister were children when this happened so they were helpless at this point. It was pretty much up to his mother to get her children's green card/ citizenship fixed during this time but she was in way over her head. She couldn't find anyone to marry her and when it came to any other pathway to achieve citizenship She became lazy and careless and just gave up and didn't do anything about it. It sucks that because of her carelessness my boyfriend is now suffering the consequences.

Anywho, He and his family have been living here for the past 22 years And have built a life here. My boyfriend is now 32 years old. Since He has spent so many years here with an expired green card he cannot re apply for citizenship on his own. If he even tried to they would immediately take him to prison. He has spoken to lawyers throughout the years and they have all told him based on his case and circumstances that he only had 2 choices.
His only choices at this point are, He would either have to marry a US citizen or he would have to go back to his country, wait 10 years to Re enter the United States and begin the whole process again on his own. Obviously, he cannot do that he had built a life here with friends, a job, a house etc.

We live in the same state (Florida) and we live 4 hours apart (by car). He lives in Miami and I live in orlando. I used to live in Miami and actually met him there before I moved orlando. It's a shame that NOW we start talking romantically after I move up to orlando. Why couldn't this happen while I was down there! Things would have been so much easier. Ugh anyway LOL that's besides the point.
I've actually known him for a couple of years as aquintances/ friends( officially dating for 3 months) I know him because we share many mutual friends. A lot of the people I know, know him as well. So he is not a complete stranger.... Some of my friends that have known him for 10 plus years and went to high school with him tell me he is a very good guy and he has proven that to me thus far.
And yes, we have spent time together we spent thanksgiving and Christmas together and a few other times. And he has met my daughter and she loves him.
I'm just worried about rushing things. I don't want to end up divorced and heartbroken... But I guess that's a risk you take in any relationship really. You never really know what's going to happen. I'm just scared.

I see this as a reckless decision. Something inside me is screaming "Don't do it".

given that he was already an adult when this happened, you can't fairly blame his mother - or anyone else - for the situation

he needs to sort this out without your intervention

This wraps it up in a nut-shell. Frankly, the right reasons for marriage is not there. You need to have the love, passion and commitment. Not seeing that in the words you wrote. The desire to help someone is no good reason for marriage.

Umm?

Ummm? This is not about reviewing a job applicant. This seems to me like casual dating gone viral.

Thank you for your lengthy explanation. Yes, I agree he is in a bind here, but even if you marry him, he still will be deported. He has lived as an adult with an expired visa in the United States - immigration will not give him a new visa just because you marry him. They're not stupid, they know why he is marrying you and he will be deported regardless. They will tell you that you can live with him in his country, but he will not get his visa.

Staying in the United States without proper legal papers and working illegally, paying no taxes is a felony. He will deported regardless of his marital status.

Actually, strange thing... he does work legally and has been employed by the same company for the past 13 years... He was hired there when his green card was still good. And somehow they haven't noticed that his green card has expired after all these years. I guess they haven't had a reason to check after they hired him years ago. So They are completely clueless about it. But yea He is still on their payroll and he pays taxes just like every one else. And even gets an income tax return. Since he still has his old social security number, they go off of that and haven't really looked into it deeply. The irs has not noticed either. After all, he is only a little fish in a sea of big sharks. The irs isn't interested in small cases like his. They are after bigger more pressing matters. He's been lucky and getting away with it all these years.....
Oh, and the only way immigration would deport him is if would have come into the country illegally in the first place, which he didn't. his lawyer says that he should be fine if he marries someone and that he won't be deported if he tries to marry.

Way too soon to marry.

Here's the thing I don't understand about your dilemma. Why is maintaining a long distance relationship awhile longer not possible? Is being at a distance worse than having no one in your life? If you are afraid it will fall apart because of the distance, that would indicate it isn't that strong to begin with and definitely not strong enough to justify marriage.

If it's good, you both can wait.

What i meant to say by "there has to be an end goal" is that we cannot be in a long distance relationship for too long of a time otherwise things will dwindle and die between us. It sucks to be in love with someone and not be able to see them hardly ever . It's rough and it hurts. We have to make plans and arrangements to eventually be together in the same city if not all of this is pointless and it will only result in something causal and temporary. Which I DO NOT WANT. i have fallen hard for him and i do love him immensely. And I know that he also loves me a great deal. The love and passion IS there. I most definitely see him as the type of man I would like to marry in the future. But having been in dysfunctional relationships in the past that nearly destroyed me, I am now more cautious and vigilant.
When you live with someone you get to see Every aspect of them. Good and bad. I just wish there was a way to live with him before marrying him.
I don't want to marry him then move-in and later on realize that he annoys me or he wasnt who I thought he was lol
That's my biggest worry right now.

But it seems like there is no way around any of this. It's either I marry him in order to be with him or I just dump him.
Two opposite extremes. two decisions I do not want to make.
I just wish there was a middle ground. Where I can still be with him and enjoy our time together as a couple Without haveing to make either of those decisions right now... This sucks...

I suppose you are right.... It's just hard for me. I tend to be very impatient.
I've been single for over three years now. My last relationship ended very badly... I was heartbroken for a very long time. It's feels like an eternity since I have felt this way. Since I've felt happy with someone. I'm very excited about having found someone that I truly love and loves me back. it just sucks that now that I found him, I can't even see him or touch him. And this stupid problem is in the way. its just my luck lol

I agree with the other posters, it is too soon to discuss marriage.

What is the urgency? If it is all about seeing each other, perhaps you all could meet half-way a few times a month, use Skype more and enjoy the time when you all are together.

My concern is, you are bringing him around your child, as you noted you had a previous bad break-up and I would imagine this had an impact on your child too. So if this does not work, that is another loss for your child.

I think the one most in danger is your daughter. If you are seriously considering marrying a man you have only known for a few months, you are putting your daughter's future well being and happiness at risk. You can gamble with your life, just not with her's. Right now you are experiencing the rosy glow of 'love', it tends to make us giddy. Don't make such a huge life change because you are giddy with love and he has a great sob story. This guy has a SSN card, pays taxes and has a job at the same place for what, 10 years?? This doesn't sound dire at all to me. I don't understand why the sudden urgency. It frightens me that you say you want to get married so the two of you can get to know each other. I urge you not to take such a big step right now, and also not to rationalize why this 'might' be a nifty idea while even you worry it might end in heartbreak. It could also end in financial ruin and then you would not be able to properly care for your daughter.

My first marriage ended when my son was two, meeting men was not a problem, but avoiding the problem guys was. I refused to allow men in my life who were not good with my son, those who were easily angered or anybody who was a heavy drinker or used recreational drugs. I would not risk my job or my son due to someone else's drug use. Please don't think you have that special love that will take care of everything. That only happens in movies, so take at least another year with more frequent visits before you decide marriage is the right way to go, If you decide to ignore the advise about putting off the marriage, please check around your family and see if someone would be able to care for your child if she becomes unhappy/miserable with the new husband.