Genuinely confused about feminism and boobs

I personally believe that "free the nipple" is a valid feminist movement. I think that there are many variations on feminism and "free the nipple" is more about desexualizing womens' bodies which I think is something of importance in feminism. With that being said feminism means something different to everyone. Some feminists believe that a womens sexuality should be celebrated as traditionally it has been restricted. On the other hand some feminists believe the media oversexualizes womens' bodies and exploits them. In my opinion, both are true and it might seem contradictory but it all comes down to who has the power in the situation. If a women is sex-positive and unashamed no one should otherwise shame her for it and if a woman wants to be more traditional and conservative she should be free to do that too.

Don't beat yourself up over holding doors. You know for yourself that if it were a man or a women you would still hold the door because you're a nice person. Now if she got to the door first and you said "wait no, allow me to do that for you, fragile woman." then she'd have an excuse but honestly I think she was over-reacting and the woman yelling about gentlemen crap is just as sexist as any mysogynist.

Your girlfriend may be traditional but this can mean anything. I believe equality and feminism is that anyone should be able to live in the way that works best for them without anyone else judging or shaming them for it. She might just be more comfortable in the traditionally "feminine" role and there is nothing wrong with that by feminist standards. But, if you aren't comfortable in the traditionally "masculine" role I don't think it's very "feminist" to force that on you because that's is what she likes. All genders are equal and I think that to force masculinity or femininity on anyone goes against the idea of equality.

there are two different concepts in your first paragraph: the first it´s about people trowing their arms up in horror if a breast is shown on tv on a morning program, keeping the "drama" alive for at least a week by showing images of the guilty breast over and over again (its nipple concealed under a respectable black circle), attacking the shameless woman till her reputation drops as lower as it could be while showing a 16 year old model almost naked on the front cover of a men´s magazine for their visual sexual satisfaccion
it about people feeling uncomfortable and (some) disgusted when a woman near them in a bar e.g breastfeed her baby right then an there instead of hid herself in the toilet while women shown on tv commercial provocatively dressed (meaning: a barely there leather skirt and a shirt open all the way down to navel´s level showing two breast barely covered by a bra surely 3 sizes smaller than it should be) are considered a common thing to sell a new model car, a men cologne or a restaurant chain new offer of the week

that woman accusing you of belittling her quality as a person because of you being polite is just about her being an asshole probably in a bad day. the other telling you off for not being gentleman enough is probably one of those machist women that have contributed to prolongue stupid stereotypes through the years

sexism is prejudice or discrimination based on a person's sex or gender, and can affect any gender. So sexist is any action, attitude, idea.... that discriminates somebody because of her gender

feminists want women to have equal rights as men. If your girlfriend is more traditional, meaning she wants house keeping to be her priority and dedicate herself to raise your children, it´s her right (you may not want children or prefer the idea of both of you employed so you have a highest economic status. You´ll have to come to an agreement on that). What feminist don´t want is women considered to be the one staying at home by society in general, but that is bound to keep happening if the man earns 30% more than her having the same job, paternity time off is close to non existent and people is left to change their discriminating actitudes when they see fit.
Whether some people out there don´t want to accept the following comparison as valid, positive discriminating measures to achieve equal rights to women is exactly what were taken to achieve equal rights to black people back them. White people complain about their children having to adapt to black children´s academic level, having to share resources with them, having to share space on the bus ... summing it up they begin to complain about losing rights because of black people finally getting theirs. The end results had to be forced into equality because the ones used to have the privileged position would´t ever have renounce to it if equal rights were left to be given voluntary by white people

you should act following your values and forget you have to treat differently a woman because of being a woman, just consider a woman a person, consider a man a person, and if you are sure how you should react, treat and interact with a person, you´ll find it not difficult at all to know how to act