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Why did he "casper" me?

 
 
Reply Tue 12 Jan, 2016 05:18 pm
The gist of this story is that I had 4 gr8 dates with this guy. On the 4th date he invited me to sleep at his apt. I had my period and told him that we could postpone the "sexual" part of the relationship for a few days if he wanted (actually I was giving him and "out" in case that was all he wanted). He said no worries, we'd just be limited in what we would do. In the morning I got up and said I had to get to my car. He said he'd come with me (uninvited, but wanted); also another "out" in case he just "wasn't that into me..."). When we got to my car (and he paid for the $20 cab ride) he asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him (He invited me, not the other way around). He then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to walk around the farmers market before going into the restaurant. As we were talking, he told me about a play he had gone to saying that he wished that he'd gone with me instead of his friends. We got into the car and I never heard from him again. What the fck did I do and/or what the fck is wrong with him?
 
Setanta
 
  3  
Reply Tue 12 Jan, 2016 05:34 pm
I can't say, but he sounds like a creep to me. I suspect he was just preening his ego about what a wonderful guy he is. Forget him, you did nothing wrong, and you seem like a sensible person. There are more fish in the sea, so i say, go fishing.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 06:48 am
@modernrapunzel,
Did you even consider calling him?
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 07:58 am
@modernrapunzel,
There could be a thousand reasons for his absence but none would qualify as a good excuse.

Here's the bottom line. it doesn't matter. He saved you a lot of drama. Let's say he did you a favor because he is not relationship material. Allow this momentary disappointment to spur you on to finding someone a bit more stable and suitable.

And here's a bit of unsolicited advice: 3 or 4 dates sometimes ..many times... is not enough time to develop intimacies.

Good luck with dating and keep on plugging away.
TeddyTuesday
 
  0  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 09:32 am
@modernrapunzel,
if you described the situation correctly, sounds like he wasn't patient enough to wait for you to get off your . and he found another girl that he could bone quicker. he just didn't want you to think that he was a dog. I guess its a reputation thing. friends and I call guys like him "the patient wolf" because he was patient enough up to one point, but at the end of the day he still had the same goal in mind "get some p****". it didn't matter to him where it came from. gotta respect it though lol. as a victim all you can do is just learn from that. trust me, once your off your . he'll hit you back up because your still "the one that got away" haha! he just doesn't realize that you got away because he wasn't patient enough and had hidden intentions.
Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 11:09 am
Maybe he got hit by a bus or got really sick - did you try to contact him?

I would have sent him a quick text or note or left him a message - just saying something like hi simple.

If you then do not hear back from him - he isn't interested and was only looking for a quickie - move on.
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:19 pm
@Linkat,
What I left out of the story only to shorten it was that we'd had sexual relations before this date, so I never thought it was about getting what he wanted and then ghosting me. Any thoughts on that? I gave him every excuse possible not to spend time with me...
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:20 pm
@TeddyTuesday,
What I left out of the story only to shorten it was that we'd had sexual relations before this date, so I never thought it was about getting what he wanted and then ghosting me. He had 4 opportunities to just let me have a quick getaway!
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:34 pm
You didn't contact him after that date?
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:36 pm
@ehBeth,
No. It's an ego thing with me
modernrapunzel
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:39 pm
Just wanted to thank you all for listening to this story. I'm 48 years young and have been married, divorced, lived with men... All I know is that the older I get, the less I really know. HOpe you all had a great new year.
0 Replies
 
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:40 pm
@Linkat,
I didn't try calling or texting. He didn't get hit by a bus or is sick (perhaps in the head though).
0 Replies
 
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:41 pm
@TeddyTuesday,
Any thought on that? I don't think he's coming back and really, I DON'T want him. I just want my ego back in tact.
0 Replies
 
modernrapunzel
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 04:46 pm
@Ragman,
Thank you for your sage advice. You seem like a good guy. Stay warm wherever you are!
0 Replies
 
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 05:09 pm
@CoastalRat,
no. It's an ego thing. I would never give someone that satisfaction. I'm sure he's not in a ditch somewhere...
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 05:10 pm
@modernrapunzel,
modernrapunzel wrote:
I gave him every excuse possible not to spend time with me...


the OP sounded like you were trying to get rid of him ... and he got the message. Probably best for both of you.
0 Replies
 
modernrapunzel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 06:14 pm
what does OP stand for?
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 06:31 pm
@modernrapunzel,
"Original Poster"
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 06:48 pm
@engineer,
Or (in this case) "original post".
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Jan, 2016 08:02 pm
@maxdancona,
I misread this thread for a while as I thought our poster was talking about an 8th grade relationship and was mildly shocked with the responses.
0 Replies
 
 

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