I've always been a little confused about my sexuality...

So...I've always been a little confused about my sexuality. I'm not a kid anymore (I'm 30), and it seems that most people have it figured out by my age. Me, not so much.
Here's a little background: When I was 13, I began to sometimes be uncomfortable around pretty girls because I felt the possibility that I could be attracted to them. I don't know if it was just some sort of anxiety or what. around that time I also became a bit obsessed with an actress that I saw in a movie. I had to know everything about her, had to see all her movies, and I would then worry and obsess over the possibility that I might be attracted to her. But the actual feeling of arousal never occurred around any females, although sometimes it felt like my heart sped up just a little.
When I got into high school, I met a girl that I became best friends with. It was an obsessive friendship. During the "getting to know you" stage, I would think about her all the time, write notes to her and give them to her in the hallway, and when I knew I was going to get to see her my heart would start to pound. We spent ALL of our time together (whenever was at all possible), we would talk all night on the phone, I would get jealous of her boyfriends, she would get jealous if I started to get close to anyone else (even though I really didn't have any other friends). This went on for a long time. She went away to college and I cried for a semester until she came back. I could not bear her being gone. We were extremely close until sometime during my college years, when she met the guy who would become her husband. Long story short, I suffered incredible jealousy and freaked out and we were unable to be friends for a long time.
Throughout the duration of our friendship I was NEVER aroused by her. We slept in the same bed MANY times, even cuddled and held hands, but I never wanted to kiss her.
Not so surprisingly, she cheated on her husband a few years later with a girl. She then came out as a lesbian and they divorced.
Meanwhile, I met a guy, became extremely attracted to him sexually (there was no doubt in my mind about it), and we eventually got married. The attraction I felt for him was something I had never felt for a female. But the emotional attachment I had with him was not nearly as intense as what I had experienced with my friend. We had a bond, but it was different. Over time, we eventually drove each other insane and I was very emotionally unfulfilled. I didn't miss him when he was gone, and a lot of the time enjoyed him being gone. We divorced a little over two years ago.
Now, I know that my experience with my friend was partially because I was so young. It simply would not be healthy in the least to have such an intense, obsessive relationship now (heck, it wasn't healthy even as a teenager). And it's not something I want.
But I seriously question my ability to find emotional contentment with a man. Or possibly anyone, really. I don't date now, and I don't have much desire to because my marriage was quite miserable and I never want to have to deal with anything like that again. But I know that I never find myself thinking much about men. I think about men if I'm thinking about sex. But the rest of the time, it's women. For example, if I watch a movie/tv show and admire the actress, I will develop this weird emotional attachment. I then have to know everything about her, watch all her movies, and then I sit around thinking what kind of person she really is. Crazy stuff like that. It takes me a while to get over it and I eventually have to distance myself from it to quit thinking about it.
I seem to be chronically single, and I like it because I feel like I don't have to put on for anybody. But I doubt I will want to be single my entire life and I feel like I need to get this figured out.
This seems like something a teenager would do. But I'm 30 and still struggling.
I've never been one to watch gay movies/read gay books/anything like that. I've always been very afraid of finding out that I actually am gay (or bisexual). Even though it's not taboo anymore, I was raised very conservatively and it's always been quite taboo in the world that I live in.
I've recently just started thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman, just to see if that's really how I'm built. But I'm the sort of person that does not develop an attraction for anyone until I've really gotten to know them, so it would be very difficult for me to just go and find this out. And it sort of grosses me out a little to think about being with a female (which would probably mean I'm not gay?).
Is this perfectly confusing? Because I am quite confused.
If anyone has experienced something similar, or has any insight on this, I would be grateful to hear what you have to say. There's more to the story, so if you need more info, let me know.