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Hi td.

Friendly questions regarding his interests might open him up. In my experience, most folks want to be liked, and many enjoy talking about themselves. If you can engage him in conversation about himself, he may realize he likes talking with you, even if he doesn't realize why.

As for the email, if I were inclined to do it (I probably wouldn't be) I'd follow jespah's advice.

It could also be that he's just not romantically interested in female relationships. Just a thought. He might already have a boyfriend.

Take it from me. These silent types are mysterious at first. But after awhile, they're insufferably boring. Who wants to be around someone constantly who doesn't talk and shows no emotion?

Indeed. I have been accused in the past of being unemotional, but never silent!

If I were a superhero....yes, there was a thread about this....I would be The Dualator, with a pun on duel and dual, I suppose...the tortured hero with super problem-solving skills but so afraid to express himself to the woman he secretly loves.....ahh, the agony of being torn...do I speak, do I remain silent? In my superhero heart, I know that the ecstasy is worth the agony.

:wink: Go for it girl! This was an entirely humourous post, with a message. Eva, your story was great too, gave me a tickle!

do not email him, that will not get you anywhere...he might not even know who you are.

call him.

this is not wierd, im in college also and girls do this all the time it doesnt matter if you dont know him already. perhaps while you are takling you could just try to show him with your tone of voice that you aer interested and try bringing up some non-class related issues

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Well, the clothes really don't give much insight into him. After all, maybe he has a girlfriend or Mom or even a roommate who picks out his clothing.

And this added info, that he doesn't further the conversation along, tells me that he is probably not interested in pursuing things, or he is just really clueless about how to conduct a conversation. If he's not interested, well, your path is clear. If he is, but he's unable to hold up his end of the conversation, he'll be boring, like Eva mentioned. Food for thought. Good luck on Monday!

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td8181,

1) first of all it's "scenario" not "senarial"

2) that is why i suggested thatyou not send the email...because now you have to wait and wonder what's going on...it's really not as good way to try and make contact with someone. especially since your email was all business.

I HIGHLY doubt that he will just delete it without a reply...probably outcomes as I see them are, in order of most likely,

1 - he doesn't check his email before the project is due
2 - he checks it, and is busy at the time so decides to email you back later but forgets
3 - he checks it and emails you back within the time period

3) a lot of guys are really talkative around their friends, and then shy around women

you still need to ask him out for lunch or something if you plan on getting anywhere with him...but now that you've sent the email you risk looking a bit more desperate. but that doesnt change the fact that you're obviously not going to get anywhere with this guy without taking the first step.

another thing you could do is leave him your number on a piece of paper or something after your next class and see if he calls

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well, there are different kinds of guys...i know some guys who would be too shy to call a girls number that she left them. i know more guys that would jump on the opportunity, though.

it is still possible that hes just clueless, but it sounds like hes just not interested. or maybe hes gay. but it doesnt sound like you're going to have much of a chance with this guy. because either 1) he isnt interested, or 2) he doesnt think about girls enough to realize you like him, in which case, its a lost cause

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I think you may have the right idea. Yes, there's the possibility, of which you are aware, that you will be turned down. But which is worse, a few moments embarrassment which you can brush off with a laugh, or a life time of wondering and regret?

If you think that he's really going down hill then talking to him about it, showing him that someone cares, may be a really good thing for him.

Another thought has occured to me. This guy is good looking but not sociable, intelligent but quiet, and he's missing classes. I think there is a large possibility that he may be depressed. In which case a few friendly words may mean a great deal right now.

Gay Will Robinson, GAY!!!

a lifetime of wondering and regret? I don't think so. considering that you haven't made ANY progress with this guy, I really can't see how you would be thinking of him more than a month after he's gone...

there are many fish in the pond, and this one doesn't sound like he is particularly good for you! I'm sure you have met guys who you just feel totally natural with from the start, someone you just feel good talking to, someone who leaves you walking away with a smile. This guy isn't that guy! Yeah, maybe you COULD end up with a relationship with it...but it doesn't sound like you'd be missing anything magical.

Anyway, my intent is not to try and talk you out of him...that's not my job, I just say what I think. In terms of your predicament, which I am having trouble responding to over IM:

1 - I don't think having his picture taken really means anything. Most guys are flattered when asked if their picture can be taken by a girl, and will happily let their picture be taken regardless of whether or not they like the girl. The only guys I know of who would not are very egotistical people who think they are superior.

2 - I cannot stress enough how much email is NOT a good way to meet a person. It is all about "ifs" and "buts" and waiting and doubting. Not a good thing, not fun and spontaneous like dating should be. You really must talk to him in person or over the phone.

3 - I don't think any of the particular things he has done constitute as a rejection as stand alone incidents. But your persistence, and his lack of any kind of a positive response over this period make a clear statement: he is not interested, for some reason or another.

No, I think he does know that you like him. But something is causing him to not reciprocate; that is either lack of attraction, lack of sexual drive, or complete cluelessness. I don't profess to know which, but does it make a difference? I don't think so. But since you are no longer in class with him, if he rejects you over email it won't matter as much because you won't have to see him in class and feel embarrassed...so you might as well give your plan a shot and ask him if he wants to have a drink with you (although he doesn't sound like the drinking type). It just can't hurt at this point. And if you have a cell drop that number in the email so he can call you if he is interested instead of waiting for an email.

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Don't use email for this. Just go up to him and ask, would you like to have coffee sometime? And then that forces the issue, though in a nice way. Either he'll say yes, or he will say no, or he'll say he has to think about it. Or, he'll just run off, scared (kidding).

If he says yes, he might still have a girlfriend. But I wouldn't out and out ask that, but maybe that's just me. I tend to be a bit more circumspect about such things so I'd say something more like so, do you think you'd like to go out some time? But I wouldn't ask that unless the two of you are sitting down and having coffee together - that's the time to do this. Otherwise, it's prying, plain and simple.

I strongly suspect that he's either not interested or is otherwise involved, either with a woman or perhaps a man. But you'll never know unless you ask him to coffee.