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So, Quietman just has to ask: what's the attraction?

I mean, if this guy sits in the shadows and acts cold, he probably doesn't want to get people to know him.

Not sure what the class is, but maybe act like you need help before the final, see if he'll bite and play tutor?

I can't quite figure out why you want him to notice you either, td.

The lure of the mystery, I suppose. (He's probably really gorgeous too)

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Well, if you've got the intestinal fortitude I would recommend you just saunter up to him one day and say, "So, would you like to go out some time?"

Failing that, I sugget finding out what his interests are, then engaging him in a conversation about them. Much as many A2Kers may not believe it (lol), in person I'm actually a fairly quiet person, silent to the point where people often mistake me for being shy. Big mistake, once I find a topic I find interesting people find it hard to shut me up! Maybe your friend is the same (or maybe he is just shy, in which case talking about something he's passionate about is an excellent way to get him to open up).

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td8181, I think that fortune is probably right. If you really think time is running out then you will have to ask him rather then waiting for him to ask you. Why don't you invite him for a cup of coffee after class? All he can do is say "No." Even then, if he has other obligations, he will know you are interested and may respond later. Don't wait until the last day of class.

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You could try getting him involved in a group activity, perhaps if you have some other friends in that class you could arrange to go for coffee or lunch afterwards, that would give you a casual setting in which to engage him in non-class related conversation.

am just curious, it is possible for him to be really serious, quiet , show no emotion in class but outside of class he really hyper and like player type, cuze seriously if he is like that outside, forget the guy, i tend to like those serious mysterious type.
but that my chances to risk, it 50 , 50, he might be like that and might not
is there anyways to know him without the coffee inviteing thing, cuze that kind of too fast, since i dont know him well and he dont know me well, so you guys suggest me keep bugging the guy every class meeting and talk to him, like make a big joke out of it and be like, "am not gonna stop bothering you, until I see you smile?'' but then the dude gonna think am crazy,
or maybe even he has a gf, lolz, there no way to know if he has one, wihtout asking straight, cuze NO, am not gonna stalk him after class lolz!

but ts8181, how will he ever know if you are interested in him or not? Without making the first move at this juncture, you'll be kicking yourself come next semester because you didn't. The only thing you'll ensure is regrets if you don't try.

Good luck

ok here the situation plz help, honestly should i do it or not.
in our class, we have this big project that is due on Mon next week, I really want to email him and ask him a question in the project cuze am so stuck, i ask my friend but they stuck too and he the smart one in the class, always get 100% on everything, I want to ask him, but problem is, I DO NOT know his Email.
well in our college, there a student directory, I did look up his email and manage to find his Email, I want to use it to email him hopefully by Mon, he reply me, IF HE EVER CHECK THE EMAIL. but aaahhh, I feel so awkward, email someone without their permission, am gonna make the guy UNCONFORTABLE, but I really need help on that question, should I risk the change of being embarass and email him? AND HE GONNA THINK I STALK HIM by look up his email

td8181,

i wouldnt be at all surprised if a really handsome serious guy like that was single...because he doesnt sound like the kind of guy whos asking girls out all the time, and girls dont often ask guys out, especially if he doesnt talk much.

you should definitely ask him out to lunch or something, its your only hope of getting to know him...and it may very well be that he is just too blind to see that you like him.

pls someone read my post above about the email and give me some ideas tonight, I really need to send the email, the whole big project is due MON

td8181,

I still think you SHOULD at least ask for a coffee date. It shows you interest and if he refuses you've lost nothing at all, Further, if you are rejected, you only have a few days more of classes, and he might suddenly find and interest.


Who knows, it's worth a try

Pictures from my life:

Her: "Yeah, right you made that chocolate cheesecake."

Me: "I did, I'm a chef."

<she looks in the box and notices that it clearly looks homemade>

Her: "I hate cheesecake."

Me: "Well, you've never had mine."

<has a taste>

Her: "The chocolate isn't Belgian, is it?"

Me: "No actually, it's French."

Her: "I knew it, because if it was Belgian I'd be orgasming all over the table right now."

Guess what? We're married now. She asked me out, when we were both studying martial arts. Just for some coffee, a beer, some pool, aloof me says, "Sure, that sounds great, but I have to wait for Anya." She thought I had something going on with Anya, but that wasn't true. She also thought I hated her because of the way I looked at her, but I was just checking her out. Point is....if she hadn't made the first move, I would have no wife today. Just ask the dude out.

td, you can email him if his email is in the student directory. That's what the directory is for. And keep it all business, e. g. "Hi, this is td from class. Sorry for the unsolicited email, but as you know we have this big project due on Monday. My friend and I are both stuck, do you have any suggestions that will point us in the right direction? Thanks!" And just sign your name.

If he responds, fine. If he doesn't, that doesn't mean he's not nice or not interested, it could just mean that he's busy with the project. After all, he's also in the class and doesn't want to fail.

When you see him again, you don't need to actually ask him out in order to get his private email (I'm assuming the email address in the directory is through your school). How about "Hi! I hope we can keep in touch over the summer. Are you planning on sticking around in the area? I am, and it would be great if there was someone I knew who was sticking around, too. Can we trade emails?" And then just take out a piece of paper, write your email address on it and give it to him.

If he takes it, great. If he gives you his in return, even better. If he doesn't give you his in return, it doesn't necessarily mean all is lost, but the message is a lot clearer. I mean, people sometimes just space out and forget that they should give an address in return. Or, he could not have a set one yet (that happens, though it's rare these days). If he doesn't take the paper, though, I'd say that he's definitely not interested.

Oh, and if he says he's not going to be in the area over the summer, just change your speech to: "Hi! I hope we can keep in touch over the summer. Are you planning on sticking around in the area? I am, and it would be great if there was someone I knew who I could write to. Can we trade emails?"

If it doesn't work, you're no worse off than where you started. Good luck!

Great story, cav!

Mine went like this...

Him: I hope you don't think I'm just trying to impress you, but here's my business card.

Me: Oh, don't worry, I'm not impressed.

Him: (disappointed) You're not?

Me: No, I design these things for a living.

Him: (relieved) Oh! Well...what do you think of it?

Me: It looks like someone ordered it out of the back of a magazine. You're a senior engineer? You should have a better looking card than this.

Him: You think so?

Me: Yes, I do. Here's one of mine.

Him: Wow. That's really nice.

Me: See? And you're probably making three times as much as I do!

Him: (laughs)