Carole and I have been married 40 years and have never had an argument
Old joke, and not even that funny, but...
Farmer is out plowin with his mule as his wife is bringing him water.
Mule suddenly stops. Farmer hits his ass with a stick, and says "That's one."
Mule stops again, same thing, except "that's two."
Mule stops again, Farmer hauls out his shotgun and blows the mule's ass away.
Wife says: What in the HELL did you do that for?
Farmer hits her ass with a stick, and says: "That's one."
They didn't argue no more.