I still think grandma needs an engrossing hobby .... or possibly a wild fling! :wink: She seems to be living her life through her daughter & her son .... Something that doesn't appear to be enhancing domestic harmony!
And I'm starting to feel really, really sorry for the mother. She's financially supporting both her mischievous mother & her spoilt son, for heaven's sake! ... neither of whom appear to be treating her with any respect or affection. This poor woman needs assertiveness training!
To be honest, after hearing all three sides, all three are guilty and all three are also not guilty. My aunt, the grandma, really thinks she's doing the right thing. You cannot convince her otherwise. One thing troubles me about all of them, tho. They aren't going to talk about what happened and try to get to the root of it. Instead, they're going to sweep it under the rug and resolve nothing. Honest communication is not a strong suit in that household. My aunt is the kind of person who will smile in your face, be as sweet as pie and then talk about you like a dog when you're not around. During his graduation party last May, I watched with amazement how my aunt had something ugly to say about every single guest when they left. I felt certain that when I left, she had ugly things to say about me as well. Why not?
My cousin is so focused on 'keeping the peace', she'll avoid all confrontations just for the illusion of peace, with no regard to what's bubbling under the surface. She's just looking to survive her mother, that's all.
That sounds like astute observation to me, eoe. And your aunt probably developed her self reassuring criticism using personality in response to someone else years ago. So it goes..
Soz reminded me on another thread that we were due for an update...
Godson, mother AND father are here! Grandma was left at home. We spent the day on Morehouse campus getting him moved into his cellblock of a dormroom. It's just such an experience being around these young people. All of the joy and excitement. Futures laid out in front of them. And I get to live it all in such a deliciously vicarious way. Being the godmother, I've got bragging rights and the whole bit without dishing out a dime. I spoke with many of the other parents with their sons today, playing the proud godmother to the hilt, feeling like we all have a common bond. One father said that he was broke as all hell but for him, his son at "The House" is worth every penny.
The young men on campus are so polite and friendly and helpful. Even when they called me ma'am?- and they ALL called me ma'am?-I didn't mind it in the least.
As far as last weeks' situation, it's over and done with. Cuz says that she will put her mother in check when she gets back but I kind of doubt that they'll revisit that ugliness. But, you never know.
It's been a terrific experience. Brawls and all.
I love happy endings--especially when Chapter 2 is coming up.
And you KNOW it's coming, don't cha?!
eoe--
I can recognize a three volume saga at sixty paces.
Thanks for the update! Glad everything's fine... for now, anyway.
Did godson apologize? How was detente (sp?) reached?
Glad he's in place and that you are all coalesced on this. And good luck and happiness to him.
Plus a variety of learning...
No, he did not apologize to his mother. Not really. He's spoiled and pampered and has alot of growing up to do. Being around them this week, I've noticed how different his relationship is with his mother compared to my own. There's love, no doubt, but the things he says would have found me, if I'd dared to say such things to my mother, without lips! And his mother tolerates it as if it's been going on since day 1. But it seems to be the norm these days. It's like watching a tv show. Any tv show from Claire on Six Feet Under to John Ritters' sitcom with the two teenage girls. The way kids talk to their parents nowadays is outrageous. No respect in their voice, their manner, in the things they say, nothing.
And guess what? He may have cursed his daddy out two weeks ago but daddy got into town on Monday eve and Jr. has been up under him ever since. I'd noticed it myself yesterday, while on campus, when Cuz pointed it out to me, saying that all of that ugliness he spewed is his grandmother's influence and not how the kid really feels. And it must be true because I'm seeing it with my own eyes.
I'm not as concerned about this thing as before. Now that he's here, away from grandma, I think we're going to see alot of changes in his personality and maybe, hopefully, he'll learn to not only appreciate the sacrifices being made but to SHOW how much he appreciates them as well.
