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Betrayed and Used: How to forgive that

 
 
Played
 
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 06:24 am
I dated my ex for 4 years; 2 years on&off and 2 solid years. Apparently he was dating someone else for 6 years, meaning he cheated on her with me. I found out and we broke up, now all of a sudden he's flaunting her on social media which is something he never did and he actually never showed that he's dating someone else through the relationship. When I broke up with him at 1st He would text me "i miss you" "i love you" blah blah until I blocked him. At the time I asked him why he’s not respecting his girlfriend by talking to an ex and he said he is not happy but was too upset and didn't continue with the conversation, he also mentioned that he doesn't trust anyone but I was so disgusted with him I didn't even care about his feelings because to me it felt like he was complaining instead of giving me answers. I think about all the lies all the time and I hurt and cry, I ask myself why all the time because my mind is alert that he doesn't deserve me but I’m still hurt. I'm also angry and jealous of his happiness that he portrays with her and I think back when he mentioned that he's not happy and it upsets me again that he's a liar. I still love him and I want to forgive him and let go but I'm stuck with being jealous of his happy 6 years relationship with a good and beautiful girlfriend while he's a cheating liar. It's killing me I feel used, betrayed and degraded. Please help how to forgive and let go
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 06:27 am
@Played,
Block him on Facebook.

There is no reason whatsoever for you to know what he's doing there.

Continue blocking him on all forms of media. He no longer exists, so far as you are concerned.

Seriously consider speaking with a professional counselor about what you're going through, and to sort out your feelings to help you rebuild your life.

And remember that no matter how much this sucks, you don't have a kid or a divorce with this loser. You have no ties at all, and are free as a bird.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Nov, 2015 06:59 am
@Played,
Don't be jealous of him or them. He's not real..and when he was with you, he acted in certain ways to sell you on a fantasy image that he wanted to portray.

Consider getting into some short-term counseling. In this sort of situation, it might help you make this transition.

Don't look to him for any validation, answers, explanations or apologies as there's no answers that will be satisfying nor will it be the truth.
As difficult as the task may be, move on with you life.

Consider that you've learned a valuable but expensive lesson. You're very fortunate that you've logged no more additional time with this sort of phoniness and insincerity.

Understand that he'll never be happy with anyone as he's congenital liar and a narcissist. Block any exposure to him on social media, phone and path-crossing in your geographical area. No contact again - ever.
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