helping younger sister

she is 13 by the way, might be helpful for advice

Can you help her speak to her family doctor so counselling for her can be arranged?

i heard counseling can be bad also because it can push her too much? i never would go to counseling myself as telling a person my problems on one on one basis is not what would help me.

Counseling as a rule is not bad. But one has to choose the counselor carefully.
There are some who specializes in counseling with children.
The client should never be pushed into having to say something - it should come naturaly. Sometimes it just helps in the beginning just to talk about school or what kind food you like, books you read and your dreams.
A good counselor never tells a person but helps a person to get over the problems or to live with them.
Very important is to find out what is the problem. What the counselor thinks mights be the main problem is maybe for the client not important at all, but something very different.

that helps a lot. any idea where to research which are good?

Research is very difficult.
Counseling is a very personal thing and it all depends on how you like the counselor - just like in daily life. You might like a person and someone else not at all.
Find a counselor for children/yong people. Do not sign up for several hours,
Only one hour and if your sister and preferable you too like the counselor sign up for another hour.
If you both go preferable at seperate hours. It mght be good to go there together and wait for oneanother. Especially your sister might feel more secure to have you around.

Your sister appears to need help that only a professional can help with.

Based on your posts here, you also appear to need professional counselling support. Talk to a minister/priest if you're more comfortable with that. If you are still at school, arrange help through the school. If you are working, arrange an appointment through your employer's benefits.

As you are an adult now, you and your sister would see different counsellors.

My daughter was a little younger than 13 when she had difficulty sleeping by herself - she didn't have nightmares, but was terrified of sleeping in her bed by herself.

Our daughter's doctor recommended a counselor - like other here recommended she specialized in working with children. Many health insurance covers this or maybe with a low co-pay so check that out. We met together, then separately. The counselor then set up a few appointments - it worked so well we did not go beyond a couple.

I am not saying that your result will be that quickly - I think it was unusual - I think my daughter just needed someone else aside from family to acknowlege her fear is real, but to also discuss how she overcome this fear.

It is true though - you and your sister would need to feel comfortable with the counselor. If you can get your doctor's recommendation it might be helpful.

I think talking to a priest or minister is a good idea when it comes to grief and more practical problems. Some of them can also handel psychological problems very well.
It is not so good if your priest or minister has tendencies to think that prayers and with God´s help everything will work out well.

you sure she would be okay with you sharing so much personal information about her?????????