You can't have a pub without rude jokes. I don't like to be the one to start, but maybe I've had a bit more to drink than the rest of you.
These are misspeaks from British TV and radio commentators:
Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
"They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's just come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his
caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some
weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
"Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
"Well Phil tell us about your amazing third leg."
Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a
Durham v Lancashire, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With
his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."
Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens Barrichello?"
Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."
Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The Wild, told Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs."
Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?".
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... "
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn - Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing”
waiter, where is my red tea? ;-)
Don't ask me, I'm just the owner. I'm certain it's coming up Thok.
Well, he's already waiting for almost an hour now cav :wink:
Well, the customer has become the "wait"er .. what kinda shop you run here cav ?
Rick d'Israeli wrote:Well, he's already waiting for almost an hour now cav :wink:
Just to remind everyone, this is a VIRTUAL pub, where all your needs are taken care of immediately, so stop whining.
I'm not whining.
But ok, I will wait. ;-)
Oh looky there, red tea for Thok. You have my permission to slap Manuel if you want to.
thanks
No, of course not. :-)
U touch Manuel and you will have me to answer to .....
Gautam will slap him. ;-) haha
Manuel has an unfortunate passion for ceviche, but we're training him out of it.
cavfancier wrote:Manuel has an unfortunate passion for ceviche
do you mean the Peruvian dish?
It's popoular all over Latin America and South America.....well-marinated raw fish with spice.
I'm speaking in idiom again, my apologies.
