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Fri 16 Oct, 2015 04:13 pm
Hi, please move this post elsewhere if it doesn't belong here, thank you.
So, I recently joined a learning forum and I am in trouble there, so I would like some advice on how to deal with this problem.
An ex moderator that is well over 30 years older than me, a delusional, elderly man living in a remote area believes that I have a thing for him and decipheres my posts using a special book and "posts back".
He thinks that I am secretly addressing him no matter what I post and he believes that everything is a sign. He says he is seeing spirits and many other silly things, he is not well. He is a narcissist. The problem is that the man has been trying to live in celibacy for about 25 years ever since his fiancee left him, so he demonizes me, suggesting that I am trying to seduce him and wants to "expose" me for that. He seems to be having a hard time trying to repress his sexual urges, as his yt channel stripping women playlist suggests. He made up a whole scenario and is full of disdain. He has now started to "threaten" me and that can only be seen if you use that book to decipher the posts. He did beat a man up and was put in detention for that. he is still a major authority on the website.
He has an online companion, a jealous woman a year older than me who was not appreciated growing up in her family, so she makes up for it by having him around. They act like a pack to everyone around them and are in a co-dependent online relationship based on deeply rooted psychological issues. That relationship cannot be realized IRL so they never go there. He feels appreciated for his "wisdom" and experience and teaches her, while she feels loved since he gives her all the attention. Since their relationship isn't a constructive one, they "renew" it by making new enemies to fortify their union. She's noticed how he reacted to my posts in the beginning and now they need to rein destruction upon me to demonstrate how much they care about each other. They feel I'd break their pathetic sanctuary.
How do I adapt to that? I don't hate them, I feel sorry for them. They are only human, I can understand where their problems come from.
I can think of two possibilities here:
1. You are serious and are being transparent & honest, in which case you are also more naive and dumb than anyone I have ever heard of, and my advice is quit that forum and consider staying away from computers and the internet until you learn some sense, whenever that may be.
2. You are making this up, in which case it is this forum you should quit trolling.
A question: are you being treated for a psychiatric condition?
@Tes yeux noirs,
Yes I am that naive. I did quit, but, I want to learn something that can't be learned elsewhere as easily, so I want to go back. There must be a way to deal with those crazy people. i still don't get what it was that I did wrong.
I am 100% sane, I am obliged to do regular check-ups because of my volunteer experiences and my job.
@Chamomile,
Then contact the current moderating team on that site and ask for their help in dealing with online bullying. Find out if there is a block feature (for the forums, the private messaging system, or both) and use it. If there isn't, suggest it to the moderating team.
Meanwhile, stay out of these people's collective way and publicly tell them to go scratch.
@jespah,
The moderators will just tell me to ignore them, but that won't help. The problem is that he is an authority there and they will always trust him, not me. I tried everything, I was polite to make him stop, I tried to be supportive of their ideas on various things, but they won't stop. He is threatening me to tell everyone that I am attracted to him right now, but he isn't doing it openly, you have to decipher the post he makes to respond to another person. And he has so many arguments, if you use the book. He is crazy, that is so disturbing, people will believe him, what do I do? Why would a woman my age be attracted to someone his age?
@Chamomile,
sounds like a crappy forum if they let this guy be a moderator.
if i were you, i would just leave quietly...
The amount of pseudopsychological babblespeak in the opening post lead me to give up reading before i had finished.
@Setanta,
It is not pseudopsychological, I had to cut to the chase.
For a poor bullied victim, you sure seem to know a great deal about these two people. I strongly suspect that you're not telling even a significant fraction of what has gone on here. "Cut to the chase?" More like fade to black. I find the stink factor of your story to be very high.
EDIT: It's the recently joined BS combined with the depth of detail of what you claim to know about these two which makes your story suspect to me. Maybe you need to work on the plausibility of your story, and try this somewhere else.
@Chamomile,
Being polite clearly did not work.
Time to openly tell him to **** off.
@Setanta,
Perhaps I should show you?
Edit: I joined in spring, that to me is recently.
@jespah,
I am afraid that'll only anger them more.
I definitely don't want you to show me anything. The more you post, the more manipulative i suspect you to be.
@Setanta,
If you do not want to help me, then, please do not disturb me again.
@Chamomile,
So?
They're people on the Internet.
Unless they have your home address, they can't touch you.
Find another forum. Seriously. If the moderating team won't help you, then find another site where you are treated better. You don't have to take that crap.
@Chamomile,
I don't think you need my help to be disturbed. You say you joined in the spring, and yet you already know the lives of these two people about whom you obsess intimately. You could have left that forum long ago, but instead you've stayed around. I think you are enjoying the game with them, or, alternatively, that this is largely made up and you're attempting to jerk the people here around for your amusement. Help you? I think you're running your games--either there or here--just fine on your own.
@Chamomile,
Chamomile wrote:I did quit, but, I want to learn something that can't be learned elsewhere as easily, so I want to go back.
I don't understand why ignoring them will not work.
Just consider them a couple of lunatics, disregard everything they say, and get on with learning whatever it is that you are trying to learn at the site.
@Chamomile,
- if you are using a book (that he obviously sent you) to decipher his posts...stop playing his games.
- if you believe anything about his profile, kick yourself
- if you are trying to figure out how to deal with crazy people on forums, give up.
- if you haven't figured out how to use the ignore feature on forums, learn.
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