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Fri 2 Oct, 2015 07:23 pm
I left country X 15 years ago and I haven't seen let me call her X for 15 years. back then I was 10 years and she was 4 years old and now she is 19 and I am 26 years old. my family and her family are really close and her mum is my mums best friend. A week ago X moved to where I live to study in one of the universities. My mum invited her out to a dinner in one of the malls. my dad , my mum and I went by car to pick her up. she greeted everyone and as soon as she went in the car ( i was sitting in the back seat) I greeted her and she looked at me surprised for a couple of seconds while greeting me but I felt like she wasn't warm like she did with my dad and my. on our way to the mall, my dad told me Y ( well let me call myself Y) can you bring me that thing at the back. she turned to me and she was like what the HELL are you Y I didn't recogonize you at all i am sorry i was a bit cold with you because i thought you were a stranger. just a side note 15 years ago i was really skinny , with glasses on a real nerd ( on scale 1-10 i would give myself a 5 ) now i am completly opposite I am buffed removed glasses and I have been called many times i am really hot by girls of all ages and ethnicities. when we were walking in the mall i was behind my mum and dad and she then started a conversation. what are you studying, and she was surprised that i am still studying yet so I told her can you please dont bring this subject again. i dont wanna remember the past these are bad memories and she was like come on please tell me. she seemed interested in talking to me talking about her exprience in her uni etc. in the restaurant i was a bit silent my mum and X were talking. my mum was on the phone and she asked me where are your glasses? then after a while she asked me do you still eat kitkat coz whenever i eat them i always remember you. we went a little shopping. my mum and dad went to buy something. during that time we were alone for like 30 minutes. she initiated conversations during this time two to three times we laughed a bit i made her laugh she was talking about uni, her adventures etc. i asked her are your classmates good and X was like they are okay but I didn't like how today a girl in my class complained about a guy because he asked her about her number. X was like she is not used to guys hooking up her.
this week my mum called her to invite her to a barbecue she said i was out all day and I have uni tomorrow.
I have a very low self esteem even though girls praise me for my looks and I am kinda funny guy but I am still very insecure despite I am putting up a facade of a confident person. the past experence when i was ugly is holding me back
I tried hard to find her on facebook and I got it. she is not using her real name and it took me a very long time to find her so will it be ok to add her on facebook will I look like a creepy stalker?
@jamesdean10,
Send her a friend request. It's not like you're asking her to date or get married.
A friend request is a pretty simple thing.
Your parents seem determined to put you two together. While that's nice, it's time for YOU to step up and make things happen. (BTW, it's a little obvious, too about parent's involvement. Did they ALWAYS run interference for you in life's experiences? Parents who do this give their children the message that they are not capable of doing things for themselves. Seeds of self doubt and low self esteem are sown. Sound like you?)
So - That means now YOU actually CALL her and ask her out. (your mum has her number)
Never mind how you look now or in the past. You have an opportunity to start a FRESH relationship with her, just as you are NOW. That's your responsibility. No more calls to her from your mom.
Decide if you are going to make things happen, or slink back into the past.
@PUNKEY,
no my parents arent trying to set us together actually. they are against dating until I graduate. I added her on facebook. it is been 20 hours bow and she didnt accept my friend request. she goes to facebook reguarly and she has seen it. we dont have mutual friends and I have an old photo of mine. I was skinny back then. would you suggest i wait for her to accept a friend request or I call her.
do you think she might be interested ? i am losing hope
@ehBeth,
I added her on facebook. it is been 20 hours bow and she didnt accept my friend request. she goes to facebook reguarly and she has seen it. we dont have mutual friends and I have an old photo of mine. I was skinny back then. may be she didnt recognize me . would you suggest i wait for her to accept a friend request or I call her.
do you think she might be interested ? i am losing hope
@jamesdean10,
Guy, she is 19, you are 26. She sees you as out of her league. What I would advise you is to travel to Thailand, for example, and live it up with the paid young ladies there. Then come back and consider whether you really want this girl or not. And yeah, graduation is really important.
@Paaskynen,
out of her league as in age ?
@Paaskynen,
i look like a 23 years old
@jamesdean10,
It seems you make this young woman uncomfortable. She may want to concentrate on her studies and I don't think you are a welcome distraction. You should look elsewhere for affection, if she was interested she wouldn't care about the age difference.
@jamesdean10,
You've put out the friend request. Leave it at that.
If she's interested in being an acquaintance or friend she'll accept.
She is a young woman at school. I'd expect most of her friends/social life will be with other young people her age at school.
You could be an older family friend she knows. Try not to expect more than that.
@jamesdean10,
It doesn't matter if you look 19/23 or 26. She knows how old you are and that you are a friend of her family.
@ehBeth,
she doesnt know how old I am
I didnt tell her all she knows that I am in third year
@jamesdean10,
her mother and your mother are best friends.
she knows how old you are.
leave the friend request where it is and move on with your life.
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