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Sun 27 Sep, 2015 03:17 pm
OK so let met start from the beginning, I'm a 21 years old guy I've never had a girlfriend, and I"m also a virgin. I work at a retail store its pretty small, there is this girl i work with she is 24 years old, so she a lot more experienced then, we get along really good, she laughs at almost everything I say, when were joking around on night talking about sex and stuff like that (I feel really comfortable talking to here about that kinda stuff) she asked me if I was a virgin, I told her I was, she didn't laugh or anything like that. later when we got off I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat the next day, she agreed. so the next day I pick her up from her apartment, she was weary a really nice shirt and had lipstick on, we went out to eat at this restaurant, it was kind of a mix between fast food and a actual restaurant, we ordered and I paid, we were their for around 45 minutes, we talked (more like she talked) about her life and the book she writing, when we were done we went back to her apartment, and watched some supernatural, after two episodes I put my arm around her, (which see didn't abject to) she asked me what I was expecting to happen to night, I told her I was kinda expecting for us to do some stuff, she laughed (not in a mean way) (cause we've talked about some stuff before and she's kinda a slut) we both talked about what we wanted, I told her that I did want to have sex not necessarily with her just in general, but I want to be in a relationship for a little while, and be comfortable with that person, cause I don't want to jump right into and then have it be awkward to be around each other, so we decided to take it slow and see were it goes and if it doesn't work out we can still be friends, but I don't want to make her go without sex, because I'm not ready, because she a very sexually active person, but we do get along really good so I want to try to make this work. so I"m not sure were we should go from there, I would appreciate and advice i can get.
@masongreen11,
Are you worried about what she will think of you after you have sex?
If so, I would say just go for it, enjoy the experience, and don't put too much stock in whether or not the relationship works out afterwards (considering the age & experience differences).
You're appear though, to be coming from a different viewpoint. It's much harder to give any advice on, other than:
- be true to yourself
- consider who she is, and from that, what is best for the both of you in the long run
- but make sure your decisions aren't being made out of fear (fears are never true to what you want or what you value etc, but, obviously, what you fear)
I don't know why you are talking like this to her about such intimate subjects the first date, but you answered her question about being a virgin and continue to answer her questions, so she's curious, I think.
You think she is open to casual sex and you don't want to get into that scene, so just be aware what you might be getting into.
Are you suspecting that she is a "cougar"? (older woman looking for young meat?) Her questions seem to be very probing.
Back off now if this bothers you. It sounds like all this means much more to you than to her.
@masongreen11,
Okay, first things first.
I doubt you're making her go without sex. Why? Because you're not exclusive, or at least you shouldn't be this early in the relationship. Exclusivity is a privilege that is not granted immediately, or at minimum it shouldn't be.
So - she may be sleeping with other people or at least dating them. That might come as a shock to you, it might make you feel bad, or you might shrug. But this should be the case regardless of anyone's sexual history, or the imbalance between the two of you.
Will this lead to sex? It might, to be sure. Get over any shyness or reserve you have about it (seriously, life will be far better and easier if you do). So go out and buy condoms like adults do, and talk about sexual history, like adults do, and insist on using a condom every time, you know, just like us adult-type people do.
Perhaps even more important is the issue of you two working together. Work relationships tend to be problematic at best. Regardless of your nice little chat, you may find that, if it doesn't work out (most relationships don't work out), you will have created a difficult work situation for yourself. Can you find another job if things get really dicey? Think about that, too, before jumping in the sack with anyone.
Perhaps more important is the use of condoms.
On cougars, I was one. Lasted about 25 years.
@jespah,
oh no, not a HORNY TOAD!!>>??
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