9
   

Why men deny cheating when caught red handed.

 
 
Medusax
 
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 07:27 pm
My SO of 6 years (living together) was just busted with 3 women in his phone. He knows them from Facebook, and they are well within meeting range. The messages were blatantly sexual. HE "neglected" to tell them he was in a committed relationship, and attributed not being able to meet them to work hours. He denied it all even though I was standing there with the phone and showing him each line. Why can't men (this is NOT my first go around with this sort of thing) just admit when they are caught and not make utter fools of themselves back-peddling, side-stepping, and lying badly? Especially since we are 50 and 51 and way to old for these silly kiddy games.
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Thu 24 Sep, 2015 09:22 pm
@Medusax,
I think more importantly, why do you accept this type of behaviour. You make it sounds as if you have been through this before more than once in your life, accept it, just don't want to be lied to.

I think that's "ok" when you are young but a grown man at 50/51 should be ready to settle down with one person, don't you think that you deserve that?
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 05:52 am
If these women are "in his phone" only, then they are not reality to him; they are fantasy.

Tell him to stop this silliness. See if he can.

If he can't stop this attention addiction, then decide if this is a deal breaker for your relationship.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 05:54 am
@Medusax,
What would you do if you were caught?
Medusax
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:25 am
@maxdancona,
When I am wrong..I can admit it. I have never cheated but if I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar, there wouldn't be anything else to do but tell the truth, don't you think??
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:30 am
@PUNKEY,
I am not a total prude. If they were far away, not within easy driving distance and a tryst easily planned, I would accept the "fantasy" thing, ridiculous to me as it is. Personally, I don't keep nebulous men in my phone or anywhere else because I have no interest in what I perceive to be bullshit.
0 Replies
 
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:35 am
@FOUND SOUL,
Hi. I don't "accept" it. I have ended relationships in the past for this without hesitation. He hasn't done anything physical YET..but the conversations were more than just a bit of attention whoring. One of these ladies was very hurt as well as very apologetic to me. She didn't deserve this, either.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:35 am
@Medusax,
Medusax wrote:

... (this is NOT my first go around with this sort of thing) ...


Why do you keep picking guys who do this?
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:37 am
@jespah,
No "picking" about it. Men are men.
Medusax
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:43 am
Anyway, I am off to enjoy my day off with a walk in the mountains...everyone HAGD.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 06:48 am
@Medusax,
Shrug.

Lots of men aren't like this.

Enjoy your walk.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 07:00 am
@Medusax,
Quote:
No "picking" about it. Men are men.


You could just stay away from men... I suspect that would make two people happier in this world.
eurocelticyankee
 
  5  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 08:00 am
@maxdancona,
http://i.imgur.com/kGfoq.gif


Women.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 07:51 pm
@Medusax,
Medusax wrote:

No "picking" about it. Men are men.


no.

not all men cheat.

not all people cheat.

just no.

ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 07:54 pm
@eurocelticyankee,
Did I mention I love that gif?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  3  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 08:01 pm
@ehBeth,
a) Not all men or women cheat.

b) sometimes a man or woman will cheat once and then not do it again within a marriage, even a long one, issue resolved.

c) sometimes cheaters stay cheaters.

People can be complicated, and writing them all off in a swath of bitterness isn't useful.
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Sep, 2015 09:44 pm
@Medusax,
Because it often works.

There was a great Sid Ceaser bit years ago where his wife walks in on him in bed with another woman and he denies, denies, denies...

If a woman doesn't want to believe her man has cheated on her she is liable to accept even the most flimsy of evidence that he didn't.

People believe what they want to believe, regardless of the facts.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sun 27 Sep, 2015 04:04 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

Medusax wrote:

No "picking" about it. Men are men.


no.

not all men cheat.

not all people cheat.

just no.




Absolutely!
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Sep, 2015 04:14 pm
@Mame,
Well, welcome back Mame!
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Sep, 2015 04:40 pm
I almost always agree with Mame, except about anchovies.
0 Replies
 
 

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