Wed 23 Sep, 2015 03:42 pm
Ok, here it goes. I'm a senior, so is he. We've only been in school a few weeks, and I just noticed him a week or 2 ago. I wouldn't consider him a "crush" yet because I don't know him well enough, but I definitely think he's attractive, mysterious, intriguing..and he seems pretty nice. And we sit by eachother 6th hour. But I wanted to get to know him better.
So far I had been doing a good job. I've been talking to him a little bit each day, because he seems like a quiet guy and I want him to know who I am and know that I'm friendly. Today when I got to class, he actually started the conversation this time - awesome right? Except I had been having the worst day today. I had already cried once. I'm typically upbeat and funny, but occasionally I get very emotional and anxious.
Nevertheless I started off the hour with him in a decent mood.. I was happy that he was talking to me, being silly and making me laugh. Then I asked him what he wrote as an answer to one of the questions on the worksheet we were doing. He jokingly teased me, asking if I had even read the passage. That's when I went back to the sensitive, insecure, anxious version of myself that I was earlier that day. I got kinda defensive and said "uhh sorry" sort of shyly and backed off. He just laughed it off though and started giving me the answer. I froze up and then he playfully teased me again and asked why I wasn't writing anything. He was grinning the whole time, obviously not trying to cause any harm, being nice. I was just having a bad day and being a baby.
I started to silently cry in my seat, because for some reason I felt really dumb and insecure. and I fear that he noticed. The last thing I wanted was to cause a scene, so I got up and asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom, where I wiped up my tears. I came back and as I walked back to my seat he sorta watched me, so yeah I think he noticed that something was not right with me. I feel bad that he had to witness such a bad side of me when he hardly knows me. I fear that he won't want to talk to me know. Like, he was being all cute and nice, and I just had to blow it and act super weird. Not to mention he's a quiet guy and what if he won't want to put in the effort to try and talk to me again? I feel so dumb and embarrassed. He also didn't ask if I was okay, does this mean there's a chance he didn't notice? Or did he just decide it wasn't his place to ask since he doesn't know me too well? Or did he not care?
I also don't know what to do next time I see him in class. I really do still want to be friends with him. I know I'm probably overthinking this - I tend to do that. Buuut yeah. Do I act super nice and approach him and pretend like nothing happened? Or do I started with a "hey, sorry about yesterday?" Or do I let him approach me? Whah do I do? Ugh..
You can just write it off in your own mind as you over-reaction and being sensitive. I wouldn't mention it. Of course, if he ever does ask, I suppose you could just chalk it up to something else going on...like in the family or something.
So sorry to hear you had to suffer this way. The high school years can really be a rough spell at times. You have my empathy and sympathy. hang in there. I'll bet you will find a good friend with this guy, in time
the only post here that is not about barren elders, widows, drug addicts, homeless... I am (frankly) surprised these kind of people have actually intimate thoughts...
Don't think about it at all. In fact, best thing you can do is to forget it ever happened and carry on. But still, reconsider if you are OK. You know, I feel sorta scammed when somebody is truing to get my attention, pretending to be OK person while inside he is a bit edgy... If you are OK, just sometimes sensitive, leave all your worries. If there is something that requires attention... take care of it first before you expose innocent person to your personal issues.
Oh - no wonder young men are totally confused about young women! He may feel he had something to do with your state of emotions at that particular moment. He's probably very baffled by all this.
You need to tell him that you weren't yourself the other day and would like to continue the conversation.
PS Is there a reason why you are crying during the day? Is this a pattern with you? I'm not being critical, but most teen girls get through the day without being emotional enough to cry. Was it a particularly bad day for you?