Is cybersex cheating?

Earth, It's not "cheating," but why do you have a need to talk about sex with somebody other than your spouse or significant other? I'm married, but I don't hesitate to look at nice look'n women. I even talk to some of them, but would never consider 1) talking about intimate sexual subjects, 2) inappropriately touch, or 3) consider anything physically sexual.

I would say yes it is cheating, in a relationship the only sexual activity should be between the 2 parties involved. Inviting another, even someone on the other side of world will affect you. This is because you will crave something else and this will effect your sexual relationship with your partner because you are wanting something she/he MAY NOT be able to give.

It's not cheating, it's just stupid.

Depends what the person doing it thinks.

My wife and I both think it would be cheating. Therefor it would be.

If only one person in the relationship feels it is cheating, then some grounds for the relationship need to be established. You need to know what your partner considers cheating.

I always felt that it was.

No, of course it's not!
No, it's not cheating any more than thinking about anyone is cheating. It does remind me of a joke, however...

Online computer users may engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through internet phone lines get pretty raunchy However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does.................

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from WalMart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK...sure.

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo, and there are candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know...breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What??

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold!! Yeeeee!!!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Taking off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on your...ummm..... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK ?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now, I'm putting it back in the cabinet, and now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so = badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked = bodies pressing against each other

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby !

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet, I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now ?

Wellhung: I've just realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my.... you know... thing...in your...you know... woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I have a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my butt back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet, nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No, wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain in on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire. Oh noooooo!!

Ok, true story.

When I first started out on the internet about 5 years ago I met this guy on line somewhere (I can't remember where), and we bacame friends. We were friends for several months before he started trying to throw sexual talk into our conversations. I made it clear many times to this guy that I was not interested in having cyber sex. Unfortunately, he kept pressing the issue and I told him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore if we couldn't keep it clean. He then agreed to knock it off, but emailed me very little from then on.
I should have mentioned earlier that he was married.
Anyway, shortly after I told him to knock it off the sex ****, I get an email from his wife telling me that he had left the computer on the night before and since he left some windows open, she decided to snoop through his emails and was floored at what she found. She told me that I was the only female in there that wasn't trashy. She said that she found several naked pictures of some of his email friends along with tons of very nasty emails. She said she read what I wrote to him about telling him to stop trying to cyber sex chat with me and she thanked me and told me she respected me. She then got into detail about how she had to keep washing **** off the computer (guess what), and she was totally digusted with her husband. She also said that it was at a point where he was barely having sex with her.

Needless to say, I was shocked at the stuff she was telling me and my heart went out to her. We wrote back and forth for about a week and then I never heard from her again. I also wrote to her husband and told him never to write me again.

If people are in a loving relationship, I can't understand why that wouldn't be enough.

Without reading all of the other replies first....I say cybersex is cheating. I say phonesex is cheating. Why not have cybersex with your mate? Sounds like fun! ( If you are not wanting to have cybersex with the one you're with, you may need a new mate. )

I agree Pam.

i thought we agreed we were not going to tell this story :wink:

LOL! Sorry Pueo, it needed to come out ;-)

If you're doing something you wouldn't your spouse/significant other knowing about, you're cheating.

If what you're doing involves a live person on the other end (of anything -be it a bed, a phone, a computer, etc.) you're cheating.

Very simple.

Yup ;-)

What a story, Montana. I know that you are not the type of person who lets guys like that 'involve' you. My heart goes out to that poor woman. I wonder what happened with the remains of their marriage? Did she say that she was going to divorce?

I find cybersex stupid all the time; and, whereas it itself might seem 'no big deal,' and 'harmless,' it harms both participants and can, in some cases, lead them to higher levels of infidelity.

Drom
It really was sad to hear her tell her story and I instantly lost total respect for this man who I thought was my friend. I'm not sure what happened to their marriage, but I hope she was smart enough to get out of it.

I feel the same as you do about the whole cyber sex thing. It is harmful :-(

The internet has opened so many doors in a positive direction - making the world a much smaller place, making it easier to keep in touch, to access information, etc.

But like with anything, there is a down side. It allows total anonymity, so those who probably would have just "considered" or "fantasized" about being dishonest in their relationships in the past are now free to act like desperate adolescent idiots.

Hey, as long as they don't affect my life in any way it's none of my business.

I still think the good brought about by the internet far outweighs the bad.

Sorry to hear about your experience, Montana. That's really shitty. I hope that woman bailed.

You were right to break off the friendship, Montana; continuing it might have seemed to be 'supporting' his unhealthy habits.

People will argue, and say that, 'if there is no chance of meeting, how can it be cheating?' The fact that people think that there is an acceptable way of thinking sordid things about another, or acting them out, is a false enticement to do what they're doing; or, at least, an acquittal from being in the wrong.

Would it be inappropriate of me to ask you what you're wearing, drom?

It depends on what your motives for asking are, Gus ;D.