@Vernon of Prague,
Hmmm, Vernon, do you realise that you've mostly been telling him everything he's doing wrong? How is this going to help him when his real problem is that he doesn't know what to do that is right?
SS13, there's a number of possible reasons that women won't accept a second date:
- they didn't feel a connection
- there's no chemistry
- they were bored
- they were uncomfortable
- you missed the point of a first date
Feeling a connection
is about the things you share in common....interests, activities, passions, emotions, body language, impulsiveness / thoughtfulness etc. As each individual experiences a wide range of such things, and no two individuals are alike...a guy who pays attention to who
their date is, can identify such things, and display similar traits that he possesses
- to my way of thinking is the connection at a sexual level. On a date it comes down to - do you stir their blood. Ie. Do they think that they could have a sexual relationship with you? If you aren't creating chemistry, then you need to find out how.
- a list of things that women can
find attractive in a partner (not exactly in a sexual way, but this adds to any interest they may possess from other aspects of your personality): humour, hard work, ambition / drive / go getter, assertive, self assured, passionate, respectful / kind.
- Your body language is incredibly important to courting / romancing/ seducing...learn about it in a dating / romance / seduction setting...practice the right body language, and use it (your mind attunes itself to your actions).
When a woman says 'I felt it was like I was the only person in the world' - that's a combination of eye contact, body language (relaxed focus towards her, mirroring body language), focus (not being distracted by the pretty waitress walking past, not letting your mind wonder off while she's talking), paying attention to the detail of what she's saying, showing you're interested (done through leading body language, eye contact, voice quality), etc
- how you speak (to a greater degree than what you say) is exactly the same as body language. We use different pitch in different settings, we can control the sharpness or warmth of our voice, our speech quickens or slows for different messages etc...and the same occurs in dating / romance / seduction (especially when combined with eye contact / body lanague...etc. Growing / Maturing how you speak takes practice.
They were bored:
it could be the setting, it could be the person. Why not eliminate one element (the setting), to give yourself a better chance? (eg. if you can, find out what interests you share and plan around it. Or choose a theme park where there's lots of intereaction going on, or something active, or a place where you can go for a walk after your coffee etc). And for you - why not arm yourself with some interesting / funny stories (not jokes, stories).
They were uncomfortable:
this could be because of the setting, or because of the man. Eliminate settings that could lead to discomfort when asking for the second date, eg. the Movies - very little chance to talk, so at the end she won't know if she could actually like you or not, which can make her uncomfortable. No politics, no religious discussions (even if you know you already agree)
You missed the point of a first date :
any combination of : fun / light hearted / stimulating / warm / positive / interesting / full of life / stirring etc. with an sense of connection
That's a short list, written off the top of my head (ie. take it with a grain of salt). Start seeking to find out what you can improve - that make sense to you, and work on it.
If you have friends, ask them what they think you can improve.
Note: consider that if you ask them what you are doing wrong, you may get disheartened to the point of not wanting to ask them what you can improve...if this is you, then save yourself a bit of heartache and work on things that will give you improved skills, and increase your confidence in your skills before moving on to things that may shake your confidence...eventually it will work out for you.
Work on you skills, and while you're doing it, work on knowing who you are and building value in your own eyes into who you are.