8
   

When you spot someone in public who turned you down on a dating site?

 
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2015 08:39 pm
@singlesucks13,
Joining some pick-up sports groups should help with this.

You'll be more fun if you're not so focussed on meeting someone plus the exercise will be good for you Smile
singlesucks13
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2015 08:43 pm
@ehBeth,
I hope it helps me mentally.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2015 09:01 pm
@singlesucks13,
I find exercise really great for stress relief in particular.

Different sports and physical activities can help us in many different physical and mental ways.

I used to swim a lot and generally spent a lot of time at the pool. I swam at least 8 km a week and went to 3 aquafit classes a week. I found straight out lane swimming great for stress relief - it was almost like meditating for me. The aquafit was also good exercise, but there was a social component to it as well.

I started dance classes about 8 years ago. I've gone to six dance classes this week. Each one does something different for me. Bootcamp kicks my ass, improv pushes me emotionally, and the technique classes work my brain over while I'm exercising.

I occasionally go to a social dance event called No Lights No Lycra. I generally find it really good for the fitness aspect as well being a great brain emptier, but last week their playlist took me to a weird place mentally, so I'm going to reconsider going there.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 9 Jul, 2015 09:10 pm
@singlesucks13,
This a bit of an over-reaction. I think as I read more about what you've written, you're ego is very tied up with this. I'm sensing a real intensity. If you can't be casual about this, find a different way to meet people.

Every hear of MeetUp? Try the local group near you area. http://www.meetup.com. All kinds of hobby, social activities and interests groups. They even have singles groups in various age groupings. But I like the hobby groups...(dog lover's, movie-goers, beer tasting and.or walking groups).

I've participated on dating sites off-and-on for years. I could fill a bus with women whom I've dated as well as women who either I turned down or who've turned me down.

When we have met and there's recognition I just smile. Most of the time they don't remember you. When they do or you do, smile and say hello.

Remember this: They weren't really rejecting you...as they don't/didn't really get to know you. How could they? It's only a snapshot and a snippet in your profile ...or based on what you emailed or spoke to them on the phone.

People make quick decisions and often times it's the wrong one. Mercy sometimes, they save you a world of grief if they turn you down, too.

You'll get over it. No big thing.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 02:44 am
@singlesucks13,
I'm left wondering:

As an individual:
- do you know who you are
- do you value who you are
- do you work on your self assurance? Self assurance is where you can fall down, and you know that falling down is a learning experience, and that you will eventually succeed. It is markedly difference from both confidence (which can be faked), and self-esteem (which of course is your self worth)
- what are your passions
- do you work hard / strive for excellence / strive to achieve

And socially:
- do you influence people into doing things with you that you enjoy
- do you stand up for yourself with other men
- do you compete (respectfully) to attain the things you want
- do you ever say no to a woman

The reason I ask is that it seems to me that you do not yet know who you are (which is okay at a young age), and you seem to be seeking validation from women. Women will enhance your sense of self worth, but they can't give it to you - it's self worth, not women given worth.

I hope it helps in some way.

Best wishes.
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  -1  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 06:12 am
@singlesucks13,
here it is, crying little baby again.

Do exactly what men would do - If you like her, talk to her. If don't, leaver her alone. If she responds positively, proceed. If not, don't be pushy.

Where do you see problem, really?

Grow some balls, man.
wmwcjr
 
  0  
Reply Fri 10 Jul, 2015 01:21 pm
@Vernon of Prague,
We all should be more empathetic towards others. After all, the world is a dangerous place for hamsters. Even alpha hamsters. This could happen to you! Crying or Very sad Razz Twisted Evil

http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.7032456.1632/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg
Vernon of Prague
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 12 Jul, 2015 04:21 am
@wmwcjr,
Ans this is what chicks do with naughty little gophers!

http://www.fototime.com/25DED2A730D6E46/standard.jpg

wmwcjr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 12 Jul, 2015 10:39 pm
@Vernon of Prague,
NOOOOOOOO! She shot Cousin Bubba and all of his sisters! It's genocide, I tell ya!

By the way, I see the hamster has left its * ahem * snug little home. Embarrassed Wink
NoahValentine
 
  0  
Reply Mon 13 Jul, 2015 12:34 am
Just let it go
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jul, 2015 05:46 am
@wmwcjr,
Quote:
By the way, I see the hamster has left its * ahem * snug little home.


eehh... I don't understand?
0 Replies
 
singlesucks13
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Jul, 2015 04:23 pm
@Vernon of Prague,
It's just I'm mostly shy okay, and I hate bad reactions.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 01:54 am
@singlesucks13,
Shyness can be overcome - by moving bit by bit, out of your comfort zone.
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  0  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 05:48 am
@singlesucks13,
some people will react badly no matter what you do. If you are not prepared for this, you are not prepared for dating.
singlesucks13
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:21 am
@Vernon of Prague,
I've been prepared for this. Its just that every girl I ever had feelings for from high school till now has turn me down and it stinks.
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:26 am
@singlesucks13,
How are you doing with getting involved in social, non-dating, activities?
singlesucks13
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:35 am
@ehBeth,
I'm waiting for the soccer league to start, it starts next week.
0 Replies
 
Vernon of Prague
 
  0  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:40 am
@singlesucks13,
then you are doing something wrong. It's not their fault they don't feel with you. You must make them to like you first.
singlesucks13
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:50 am
@Vernon of Prague,
I rarely got a date with one of the girls not a dating site through facebook, waited a couple weeks to ask her out on another date she always said she was busy. How am I supposed to have a relationship if I cant get past the 1st date?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Jul, 2015 08:55 am
@singlesucks13,
What kinds of events to you go to on first dates?
 

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