I Don't Understand My Ex

Forums: Relationships, Facebook, Ex
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I dated a woman in her forties for a year. We loved each other. She did not get along with my parents who are in their 80s. Despite this, she invited me to spend several days with her family who live on the other side of the country. I got along very well with her parents, which seemed to piss her off. When we returned from the trip she broke up with me saying that she loved me, that she could not be with me because I was close to my parents but she was unable to get close to them. I told her that I still loved her but respected her choice and would leave her alone, but that if she changed her mind, she was was always welcome to call. That was two months ago. She still lists me as Being in a Relationship with her on her FB account and has my pic (with her). She has not contacted me. A friend tells me that it could simply be a FB error, but I don't think so. I "unfriended" her shortly after we broke up out of respect for myself and her, too. No contact is the only way to heal. But, I admit to being confused by this relationship status of hers. Why? Obviously, I don't plan to contact her--she has to do that if she has a change of heart. Your thoughts? PS I have gone out with another woman who is nice, but not my type...so, I have moved on a bit. Thanks!

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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 3,235 • Replies: 42

@jim 1968,

Thanks for reading my post. Any feedback? Thanks

0 Replies

@jim 1968,

It sounds like a Facebook glitch. You are not supposed to be able to be in a relationship on FB if you do not have the other party consenting. That is, FB relationship statuses are bilateral.

Go back, refriend her (if you can), make sure to delete her as your girlfriend, and then unfriend her again. If that's impossible, ask a mutual friend to ask her to delete the relationship status. Explain that it's a software glitch and you're sorry to be reminding her of it, but there it is and you both know it's not the case anymore.

I'd also suggest deleting your cookies and checking for spyware, to be on the safe side. You might be seeing older, incorrect information because your PC is compromised.

3 Replies

@jespah,

thanks! I did delete her from my relationship status before I unfriended her. About two days after I unfriended her, I noticed that her FB had me listed as In a Relationship (with pic). I clear out my cookies all the time. Here's another thing. I unfriended her mother who then tried to re-friend me. About two weeks ago, her mother's posts were not public rather than for friends only. She has told on mutual friend that we are not dating anymore, but beyond that another FB friend met me the other day and was surprised to find out that we weren't dating anymore (I told him). So, the whole thing is weird. But again, thanks for feedback.

1 Reply

@jespah,

On a completely different note, thank your lucky stars about this breakup. She's got baggage that requires a professional to unload. She didn't like your parents and was irritated you got on well with hers??? Yikes!

But Jespah is the one who knows all the computer quirks, so follow her advice regarding Facebook. As far as the woman, you dodged a bullet.

1 Reply

@glitterbag,

That's what good friends have told me, too. I am very close to my aging parents and was clear about that from Day One. Yet, you read the outcome here. I agree that there must be serious issues on her part. I won't go on and on. I mean, my question was answered and I appreciate hearing another person's opinion about my ex...someone who doesn't know me, but has the basic facts at hand. Thanks again!! best, Jim

1 Reply

@jim 1968,

I read through the thread. Sounds to me as though you may have dodged a bullet. Take a breather...and thank your lucky stars.

Turn that page. Good luck with moving on.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Thanks for your comments, Ragman! Yes, I'm taking a breather. Just taking care of me these days. I'm glad I asked for input on Able2Know. Your feedback helped me a lot! best, Jim

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@jim 1968,

Well, then that's just weird (to use the technical term). Facebook does have help and there are forums. Can't promise you'll get a solution there, but it's another place where you might be able to at least ask.
https://www.facebook.com/help/353936308008009 or
https://www.facebook.com/help/community/question/?id=628033400559798

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@jespah,

In a week or two, I'll be having dinner with a friend (he is still a FB friend of my ex) and his wife. Over dinner, I will casually ask him to check this issue on his FB to see if what I'm seeing is the same as what he's seeing (i.e., relationship status). Thanks for your helpful suggestions--I will follow up on this when time permits. best, Jim

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It seems yur whole relation depends upon the fb status.

1 Reply

@adamsthompson05,

I understand your interpretation. In brief: she ended the relationship. I politely said 'goodbye,' unfriended her, and moved on. I noticed the fb status didn't change on her page for the last two months. My question here was: what does this mean? People gave me their thoughts. Quite honestly, I don't want to see her again for the reasons mentioned previously. Thanks for your feedback Smile

0 Replies

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

It sounds like a Facebook glitch. You are not supposed to be able to be in a relationship on FB if you do not have the other party consenting. That is, FB relationship statuses are bilateral.

just saw a something on a friend's page. he is in a relationship with someone (based on FB status). that person is not in a relationship with him (based on FB status).

I don't know if he didn't change the status when they broke up or if it's a glitch, but it looks like FB can show you as being in a non-bilateral relationship.

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Bingo. Thanks for this info. This is exactly what I thought-that it is intentional on her part.

Thanks. This site has been a big help to me.

best, Jim

2 Replies

@jim 1968,

uhhhh no

it's the opposite of what you think

he's not in a relationship with her - but his FB status still shows that he is - though that is not his intention ( I pm'd him to confirm) - he can't seem to get rid of the relationship status

1 Reply

@jim 1968,

it's actually a bit funny

I was the second person today to say something about his relationship status

someone else actually managed to attach a comment to his status - that was how he found out that according to FB he is in a relationship that ended over a year ago

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@ehBeth,

My status is: Single
Her FB status: In a Relationship with Jim (and last name, with pic)

1 Reply

@jim 1968,

yup

that's how it is for my buddy and his ex (except the genders are flipped) - her name and pic are on his relationship status

1 Reply

@ehBeth,

Interesting situation. Time will tell Smile

Thanks!

1 Reply

@jim 1968,

Interesting indeed. My friend is wondering if that's why someone he met didn't follow up with him. If she'd checked him out on FB, he'd look like a dawg in a relationship hitting on new women.

1 Reply

I Don't Understand My Ex

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