No Sex - Legitimate reason for divorce?

Thanks for speaking it. However I should caution you to set a deadline of 6 months or a year so that you don't drift through years of unhappiness. The deadline should culminate in a visit ( both of you) to a marriage counselor. If she won't go, go anyways. Set another deadline. 4 visits. 6 visits. If she still won't go with you you'll have to admit you've done all you could do.

Wow, some of your spouses are extremely cruel. I know you'll say they aren't, which is nice, and you may actually believe it. But they are selfish and cruel.

sfboytoy: Indeed, thanks for speaking your mind.

To me, and this is based only on what you've told us, it seems that the distance between you and your wife is more a matter of simply growing apart for one reason or another, regrettably it does happen. I would suggest that you stop waiting for things to get better in your marriage and make them better. Go back to the beginning, obviously you can't go back in time, can't erase the things that have happened, but you can bring the romance back. Court your wife, bring her flowers, leave her notes, ask her out on romantic dates, all that stuff that guys do when they're trying to get a woman's interest. Hey, it worked once, it can work again!

I'm still wondering how SteveH is doing.

Hope he's figured out what he wants to do.

Well, thanks for asking. Actually, I just got back from a 2 week vacation in Hawaii with the family. I did open communications with my wife and things are getting a little better. She needs more emotional closeness before her sex desire returns. She is trying now. She is trying to help me with my sexual needs too.

Every rocky marriage should take a few weeks in a place like Hawaii. If your marriage is still in trouble after that, you need serious help.

Thanks to all for your insightful responses. Even though opinions varied, it was all good stuff.

Man, I would not stay in a relationship with no sex. Her decision is very selfish and unreasonable. If she doesn't want to satisfy you then she should not have married you. No man or woman is going to put up with their spouse telling them "I'm not having sex with you ever again". That's rediculous. If you can take the blow financially...leave IMO. You're still young and can find someone else who appreciates you. Even if you did make mistakes....that's no excuse to cut you off like that...especially when you tried to make it right with her. She needs to knock that chip off her shoulder.


Opps sorry....didn't know you guys were making progress. Good luck man.

And that's a prime example of why the old 'no sex, no husband' philosphy is just another form of cutting of the nose to spite the face. Divorce is not a punishment, it is a last resort.