Can i still love my boyfriend although am not attracted to him and i cheated on him?

Forums: Ex
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Hello guys,
I have been with my boyfriend, or rather my ex- boyfriend for almost a year now. I have always been attracted to him for the whole time although he is literally always having issues- Like being suspended in school( oh i should mention we are both juniors in college), getting evicted, smoking , anger issues and such. I always trusted his good intentions despite all the trouble but now everything is changed.
For the past month, i have just been either sad or angry whenever am around him without any reasons- i couldn't even bring myself to kissing or having sex with him. And no it wasn't my sex drive because i believe its alright. I thought that maybe i don't love him anymore but that turned out not to be the case either- i could not stay a day without seeing him even if i didn't want to .It seems am so emotionally attached to this guy i cant even consider breaking up with him at all.
Now to make matters worse, i recently met a guy weeks ago and we became really close friends but the problem is when i am with him, i get really turned on by small things as he also is very much a gentleman. He is everything my boyfriend should be- he takes me out, i don't have to get him out of trouble, he offers to pay for my food, he opens doors and cooks for me, and he respects me too . Don't get me wrong though, i am an independent woman and i have no problem with helping my boyfriend out at times, but i didn't know i was feeling insecure till i got to experience this.One day things went out of control and i ended up in bed with him. I didn't want that and i felt awful about it- i wanted to tell my boyfriend but he made it clear before that he cant stand cheating women and that he would break up with any girl who cheats no matter how much he loves her.

Still i felt so guilty i could not stand him even though i couldn't tell him either, so i told him that we needed a break and that we should figure out what we both want. Now i cant stop making out with the friend of mine...i don't like him and am not trying to have anything with him more than what we are now but its like i enjoy having sex better with him than my boyfriend- On the other hand i meet my boyfriend everyday and he keeps talking about how he want us to get married soon and such. I feel sorry for him and i don't want to hurt him at all , so i keep doing things with him because i don't want him hurt. This is the first serious relationship i have been in and i love my boyfriend but do you think i have a future with him? Is this something i can work out? I cant break up with him but am not attracted to him either and i have cheated on him you see. What should i do?

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,097 • Replies: 6

@hussshy,

Of course you can break up with him. Here's your script.

"I'm sorry, but it's not working out between us. I wish you all the best."

Then go, and block him on all forms of social media.

Boom! Done.

And then you can screw anyone you like (or, apparently, don't like).

Really, it's not hard.

I realize you haven't done it before, but your boyfriend (even you refer to him as your ex) will not break into a million tiny little pieces, even if he is hurt. **** happens, but he can recover. Don't be his mercy relationship. It's not fair to any of the four people in your scenario.

Wait? I hear you asking. Four?

Yes. Four.

You
The ex/soon-to-be ex
The gentleman you sleep with but apparently don't have feelings for and
The person you really do end up with in the end

Seriously. You will look back on this in a year and wonder why this was such a big deal to you, and why it was so hard to cut the ties.

Cut them. You aren't in love. You're just comfortable, and you don't want to face the fact that the relationship failed.

Well, relationships fail all the time. That does not make us bad people.

It makes us human.

2 Replies

@jespah,

@jespah
i get what you are saying and trust me i have thought of breaking up with him a lot but its really not an option for me right now. I cant be trying to adjust and start all over now-i literally changed a whole lot about me i cant just go back.. I don't feel like i can manage that

2 Replies

@jespah,

So true, so true.

0 Replies

@hussshy,

Isn't that pretty selfish as well as dishonest?

0 Replies

@hussshy,

So, you've got kids together? Sharing a business about to go bankrupt? Performing in a two-person play together? Bone marrow donors to each other? You're disabled and he is your sole caregiver? There are no other apartments, houses, hostels, or tents in a twenty-mile radius? Your family won't take you in? Your friends won't let you stay over? You're chained in the cellar? There are no jobs within a twenty-mile radius? You can't get a bus ticket out of there?

Seriously, you can leave. People leave relationships every single day. Some of them leave with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Even people in the circumstances I outlined above have left relationships. Hell, Stephen Hawking and his first wife ended their marriage.

0 Replies

@hussshy,

Break up with all of the guys you're seeing right now.

Get used to being on your own. Get used to you.

Start over again. No luggage with anyone.

Do it.

Break up.

0 Replies

Can i still love my boyfriend although am not attracted to him and i cheated on him?

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know