Tue 9 Jan, 2024 01:06 pm
I would like to share my story, if I help someone with it who experiences the same situation I am already happy.
I got really attracted to a girl one time. I asked her on a date once via Messenger (she was from another town, thats why not via person) to which she didn´t reply, only sent the heart emoji reaction. I instantly thought that means "Thats sweet, but no thanx", but a few weeks later she invited me to dinner instead. I was already ready to make the reservation, but she cancelled last minute. She was hot & cold for weeks then I asked her if she has a place in her heart for me. She said she hopes so, but she hasn´t been in a relationship for a long time and kinda got used to being alone. Again, an answer I didnt understand. She said yes, but named why it shouldnt happen.
Few weeks later we officially started dating, but she played busy all the time. Been on a few dates, kissed & even more. About 2 months later into dating I found her on a dating site, which I questioned, but kept saying she is only looking to connect with people from other countries for language exchange. Few days later she told me she doesn´t have any feelings for me yet, but she has high hopes everything will be good between us. Even invited me to meet her parents on a day she knew wasn´t good for me. Then I went for a business trip and broke up with me when I returned (via text).
It was my first big heartbreak, I "begged" to fix this somehow, even tho there was no clear indication that I messed up anything. She broke up with me with the excuses some of us already know (She is not ready for a relationship, she is emotionally unavailable, I shouldn´t wait for her and I should find someone who can love me more).
Now we know if "she is not ready" it usually means a few weeks later you find out she is already dating someone. This someone was 7 years younger than her. I was devastated, told her I wish to go no contact. I haven´t been in contact with her for a year. In the meantime I learned she broke up with him after 3 months the same way as me. On top of that she was giving away her phone number and flirting (already lining up another man) while she was with this guy she claimed she loved. (Going back to our relationship, you can now imagine what type of language exchange she was looking for on the dating site).
Obviously not even a week later after she broke up with my replacement she was already jumping to another "tree". ****-talking also happened behind my back, her main excuses for breaking up with me (to others) was lack of connection (Do you think someone who jumps from relationship to relationship is ACTUALLY looking for one?) and the fact that I didnt try hard enough, because I rejected that 1 time she wanted me to meet her parents out of the blue (now I understand why she invited me to meet them after telling me she didnt love me - she needed another excuse).
1 year passed and she is still looking at my social media - even Linkedin which shows who viewed your profile. Its beyond me why if she never wanted to fix our relationship and **** talked after it.
I studied about dismissive avoidants, she has alot of traits, but I cant identify it perfectly. She has not had a relationship in the past 7 years which lasted over 3 months.
My mind knows that I would never want a woman who is a cheater and a liar, but my heart still craves for her sometimes. Maybe not for her, but the idea of her and the person she pretented to be.
Just block her, she's wasting your time.
What I think is you're obsessing about "the one that got away" and overinflating her importance in not just your life but anywhere.
She sounds annoying and flaky at best. You sound like you're stalking her social profiles.
Stop. Doing. That.
You are never going to get over this trainwreck of a relationship if you continue to check her social profiles.
Once you stop doing this, you will find it remarkably easy to get over her and move on with your life.
Find. Someone. Else.
Ask yourself why you are craving a person who is so obviously unsuitable..............not only for you, but for many other guys. Look within yourself.
If it were me, and I were a man, I would block her on social media, and get her out of my life..