Ex fiancé wants to meet

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My ex of 2 years recently asked if I wanted to have dinner. I agreed. This comes after I reached out to him a year or so ago ( he ended things) to see if we could meet. My intentions being to try again. He agreed to talk via text first and ultimately decided not to meet me and ended it with he will always have feelings for me, wished me the best etc. It was at that moment I finally decided to let go and move past this, got myself into counseling and was doing great. Until 4 months ago he sends a random text, just a link to an article about something he clearly knew I'd know about (my fav golfer being disqualified) with a laughing emoji. I ignored it. WTH? You told me you didn't want to see me. Well in May we started talking a bit, just light conversation and not often. He's now asked me to dinner. He said he's excited to see me and catch up. What does that even mean? I still love him. Catching up and parting ways will be hard for me. It would be too hard for me to be friends also. Ugh. Confused.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,143 • Replies: 15

[+3] - jespah - 06/22/2024Then why go? You don't have to say yes to every invitation. "Sorry, it'll be too hard for me."

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@Smuther1,

Then why go?

You don't have to say yes to every invitation.

"Sorry, it'll be too hard for me."

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Do you want a relationship with someone who trifles with your emotions. Place a higher value on your time and emotional wellbeing. Try to heal and move on at a distance. He let you down twice already! He hasn’t yet and can’t give you what you’re looking for. That loving intimacy is something from the past.

There’s plenty of better relationships to come. Heal properly from this one and take the time to cultivate a new direction for your energies. I wish you well.

2 Replies

Sound advice from both here. You don't say how old you are or how long you two were together, which can make a difference. A relationship of 6 months is quite different from one of 6 years.

If there's nothing in it for you, just politely decline. You don't have to give a reason, or give the real reason. You're just not available, or you're seeing someone else, or you don't want to continue the 'relationship', whatever it is now. Bottom line: do what you feel is the right thing for you. Good luck.

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@Smuther1,

Smuther1 wrote:

My ex of 2 years …

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@Ragman,

I took that to mean they have been exes for 2 years... still unsure.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Hmmm? Could be.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Correct. Apart for 2years

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@Ragman,

No, and it feels like that’s what he’s doing. He’s probably done it all along, in and out of my life. It’s time to put a stop to it.

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@Ragman,

Broke up 2 years ago

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@Mame,

I’m old enough (50’s)that I should know better but this one got me. It was as a relationship, on and off for 5 years. A relationship were somehow, someway, I lost myself. Something was always so off but I could never put my finger on it. I changed, slowly over time me. I’m still recovering. Obviously, I guess. The therapist I see thinks he’s narcissistic. I knew nothing about what that was. It explains some things. I just need to wash my hands if this once and for all. Really, how dare him send me some random text out of the blue after not wanting to see me. I can’t explain the impact. I will not go to that dinner.

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@Smuther1,

All kinds of information on narcissism out there - run away as fast as you can. They need to play people and most people are so nice and trusting they get sucked right in and don't understand what happened. It's insidious.

Synonyms of insidious

: having a gradual and cumulative effect : SUBTLE
the insidious pressures of modern life

of a disease : developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent

: awaiting a chance to entrap : TREACHEROUS

: harmful but enticing : SEDUCTIVE

Look or sound familiar? Yep, we all know someone (or two) like this, be they a neighbour, family member, or co-worker.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Unfortunately, it sounds very familiar. Sad

Thank you for sharing

1 Reply

@Smuther1,

Good luck to you.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Thank you. You are correct.

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@Mame,

Thank you 🤍

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Ex fiancé wants to meet

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