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Ex fiancé wants to meet

 
 
Reply Sat 22 Jun, 2024 11:04 am
My ex of 2 years recently asked if I wanted to have dinner. I agreed. This comes after I reached out to him a year or so ago ( he ended things) to see if we could meet. My intentions being to try again. He agreed to talk via text first and ultimately decided not to meet me and ended it with he will always have feelings for me, wished me the best etc. It was at that moment I finally decided to let go and move past this, got myself into counseling and was doing great. Until 4 months ago he sends a random text, just a link to an article about something he clearly knew I'd know about (my fav golfer being disqualified) with a laughing emoji. I ignored it. WTH? You told me you didn't want to see me. Well in May we started talking a bit, just light conversation and not often. He's now asked me to dinner. He said he's excited to see me and catch up. What does that even mean? I still love him. Catching up and parting ways will be hard for me. It would be too hard for me to be friends also. Ugh. Confused.
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 546 • Replies: 15

 
View best answer, chosen by Smuther1
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 22 Jun, 2024 11:19 am
@Smuther1,
Then why go?

You don't have to say yes to every invitation.

"Sorry, it'll be too hard for me."
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 04:23 am
Do you want a relationship with someone who trifles with your emotions. Place a higher value on your time and emotional wellbeing. Try to heal and move on at a distance. He let you down twice already! He hasn’t yet and can’t give you what you’re looking for. That loving intimacy is something from the past.

There’s plenty of better relationships to come. Heal properly from this one and take the time to cultivate a new direction for your energies. I wish you well.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 07:26 am
Sound advice from both here. You don't say how old you are or how long you two were together, which can make a difference. A relationship of 6 months is quite different from one of 6 years.

If there's nothing in it for you, just politely decline. You don't have to give a reason, or give the real reason. You're just not available, or you're seeing someone else, or you don't want to continue the 'relationship', whatever it is now. Bottom line: do what you feel is the right thing for you. Good luck.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 09:49 am
@Smuther1,
Smuther1 wrote:

My ex of 2 years …
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 11:23 am
@Ragman,
I took that to mean they have been exes for 2 years... still unsure.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 11:56 am
@Mame,
Hmmm? Could be.
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 02:03 pm
@Ragman,
Correct. Apart for 2years
0 Replies
 
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 02:05 pm
@Ragman,
No, and it feels like that’s what he’s doing. He’s probably done it all along, in and out of my life. It’s time to put a stop to it.
0 Replies
 
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 02:06 pm
@Ragman,
Broke up 2 years ago
0 Replies
 
Smuther1
 
  2  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 02:12 pm
@Mame,
I’m old enough (50’s)that I should know better but this one got me. It was as a relationship, on and off for 5 years. A relationship were somehow, someway, I lost myself. Something was always so off but I could never put my finger on it. I changed, slowly over time me. I’m still recovering. Obviously, I guess. The therapist I see thinks he’s narcissistic. I knew nothing about what that was. It explains some things. I just need to wash my hands if this once and for all. Really, how dare him send me some random text out of the blue after not wanting to see me. I can’t explain the impact. I will not go to that dinner.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Jun, 2024 04:50 pm
@Smuther1,
All kinds of information on narcissism out there - run away as fast as you can. They need to play people and most people are so nice and trusting they get sucked right in and don't understand what happened. It's insidious.

Synonyms of insidious

: having a gradual and cumulative effect : SUBTLE
the insidious pressures of modern life

of a disease : developing so gradually as to be well established before becoming apparent

: awaiting a chance to entrap : TREACHEROUS

: harmful but enticing : SEDUCTIVE

Look or sound familiar? Yep, we all know someone (or two) like this, be they a neighbour, family member, or co-worker.
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2024 10:08 am
@Mame,
Unfortunately, it sounds very familiar. Sad
Thank you for sharing
Mame
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2024 12:40 pm
@Smuther1,
Good luck to you.
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2024 07:51 pm
@Ragman,
Thank you. You are correct.
0 Replies
 
Smuther1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Jun, 2024 07:52 pm
@Mame,
Thank you 🤍
0 Replies
 
 

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