While you people were carrying on with your incessant chattering I managed to slaughter the entire herd on my own. Farmerman is weeping, the vultures are circling, and the cows are beginning to bloat in the midday sun. It's a beautiful sight.
Oh, and about my capybaras being held hostage: I am not the least bit concerned.
They are carrier capybaras -- trained to return home.
(You don't think Ratzenhofer would just blindly stumble into such a venture without covering all his bases, do you?)
They've got friends Gus, and boy are they p|ssed!
tenderloin please followed by a t-bone.
Damn, what a bummer. I got over here as fast as I could to stop this needless act but it was done. And now I see people pigging out on all of that beef, including folks who probably shouldn't be.
Sitting on a hill shooting "cows" doesn't take a lot of brains: just a 22 and a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
"Cow-tipping," however (which, no, does not involve giving them your spare change), requires a much higher level of sophistication: Bud rather than Pabst or some really good weed.
Nothing can make me laugh...um, I mean, nothing can make someone who is into this laugh harder than to walk up to a standing but sleeping cow and press a blunt stick against the side of its head right behind the ear and watch it fall over. Damn, it is funny to see...or so I've heard, I mean. An old Southern tradition. Some of yall urban dwellers may think this "cow-tipping" thing is a myth. Not so. It's as real as can be. Just ask dys.
It's a southern tradition?
It was apparently all the rave in rural Wisconsin, I heard, growing up in Milwaukee. They used to say the hick kids did it. And it's PBR 24/7.
Actually, some cows survived gus' slaughter, because they were beamed by Les Saveurs Du Vache Internationaux Contre Gustave towards our local cows-receiving-antenna
I'll keep an eye on them ..... and of course: they don't get GM food!
Good God, the cows are involved in the SETI project!
First they'll be beaming the cows; next they will be beaming us up. It's all a conspiracy, I tell you. They're just using cuddly... cows... to cover up their malevolent plots. I suggest that everyone join L'organisation contre les Saveurs Du Vache Internationaux Contre Gustave, otherwise stupidly known as LOCS-VIC. The first fifty to join will earn themselves a meal of their choice, a train ticket to Prestatyn, and a badge saying 'I saved the human race. Can I go home now?'
jespah wrote:Good God, the cows are involved in the SETI project!
Well, sorry, seems, the project really got a bit
out of control 
colorbook wrote:I think you may be jealous of farmerman?s cows because all of yours died of swamp sickness.
Yes - and because his cows love him with a genuine love....
As I am always the diplomat, I have a solution that would satisfy everyone here. We contact soserene (who sadly, we haven't seen around much lately), and have her show us how to tip the cows. Then we paint bloody red splotches on them, and shoot a few rounds into the air. He'll be just as shocked, and no cows would suffer any serious damage.
I've been sent in to bargain... they say that that arrangement is fine, as long as they get to drive away with banjo music playing. There is also the difficulty of the cows' already being dead, but that's irrelevent to the plans, I feel.
whew, You notice my obvious absence. i was busy in church praying that my cows are spared from that murdering bastard that is Ratzenhofer. ANd, guess what? My prayers were answered, my neighbor, Don Gabagool, the rural mafia capo di tuti capo, had his herd slaughtered. Well, I told Don Gabagool about this thread and about Ratzenhofers evil plan. All don Gabagool said wasw
"where can I locate dis individzewl. I wish to have a dezcushun wid him. "
If I were Ratzenhofer, I would attempt to secure a one way bus ticket out of the area, and quickly.
Oh Walter, don Gabagool would enjoy if you could re beam his cows that you saved back to him at your earliest convenience. Don G is a very generous man and can be a very good friend of yours, as he is now in your debt. So , if there is anyone who causes you some embarrasment, and whose disappearance would not be a great inconvenience, Don G would consider it an honor to remove this individual for you.
Run Ratzenhofer, be afraid. be very afraid
By the way, whose week was it to see that Gus is released from his leather restraints just to go potty?
Shot one for me, and tag it "ci."
Go get 'im, farmerman!
Good work guys! Good triumphs over evil, yet again! Yay!
BTW, I've contacted the RSCPA here in Oz & they are NOT impressed, Gus! I think you've caused an international animal cruelty incident! How can you sleep at night, they ask?
Chorus:
Gus' voice thunders from somewhere behind a cow's carcus:
'Laugh now, but we will see who laughs last'
accompanied by manic laughter and, eventually, heavy coughing.
